The Roads Not Taken

So how’s life after marriage? Many people ask me this question ever since I tied the knot. Well, the answer is, to be honest, there not much change whatsoever. For me anyway. Maybe because I’m in Sabah now since the marriage and going back to KL periodically didn’t have that much effect on my life in regards to me and SL. Some say the further the distance makes the heart go fonder for each other. In a way it’s very true, there’s some sort of comforting space between us due to the distance that I’m actually quite contended with. It’s like watching your favorite TV series everyday over and over again for the rest of our lives, would that TV series still remain your most favorite? Or would you like to watch something else after a while? I’m not suggesting we go grab a “remote life control” and go wild with partner surfing, and using a TV series isn’t all that right but there you go, you get my drift?

So I guess I’ve not really “become” a truly marriage man yet? Besides some extra added weight on my left hand’s certain little finger, much remains the way they are. And I guess that what I really wanted frankly. To be honest, I was completely apprehensive on how my life would change completely once my “life title” has been changed. Actually, throughout my life, I’m always been very apprehensive on how my “life title” changes from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’ to ‘married’ (and not hopefully not ‘divorced’!!). From the beginning of changing of my lifestyle to suit a particular someone, to the changes in attitude and until most recently, I might actually comprehend in changing my job to be closer not only that someone, but to the family on both sides as well. And it’s not something that is forced upon me for this change, it’s just that something clicked in my mind and that would be something that I should do. So should I…? Deep down, I will, it’s only a matter of time…

But there you go, if I’m back in KL full-time, how will that change my life in regards to my new found status quo? For the better? Hypothetically, yes. Well, why shouldn’t it be better? But then again, remember that comforting space I mentioned?

People tell me I shouldn’t think so much into these things, that “life will take its course”. My thoughts on it is that whatever you do, you will end up in the same destination, only the road to that destination was different. But I do wonder. I always did wonder, what would my life be on the roads not taken? Would my life be happier if a certain decision on any given day leads me to a different road? Or would it be far worse? Or would it actually be anything like what it is currently right now?

I never mentioned much to anyone about my many opportunities to work in Singapore. I was a hair’s breath away from working in Singapore upon my graduation from the UK (working in UK is a whole different story). But it didn’t materialize, I chose not go. If I ever did take that road, would my life be the way it is now? Will my Facebook photo albums filled with those photos that it is today? Would I even be married? I can’t possible consider marrying a Singaporean, can I? Last month I spent a good whole week at my company’s Asia HQ in Singapore during my company’s training course. Seeing the life not only on the streets but in the corporate environment there as well, I cannot help but to ponder how my life would change if that road to work there was taken.

“The roads not taken leads to many parallel worlds that are different but only slightly, the destination ends but the same.”

I guess that just got me thinking…