Ball(s) of a Time with Futsal

Weekday of 28th May


This day is special. Why? It is because this is the day that I came out of retirement. Retired from what you ask? Well, not from pension but from futsal!!! Yes, people, I finally found the courage to wear back my old futsal shoes and….wait a minute. I can’t find my futsal shoes anymore. My mum threw them any ‘cause it stinks like a drainage tank. My mum always said that if the shoe even slightly touches the aquarium water, all the fishes will immediately vomit white foam and turn up-side down. And, some will even run on land to get away. So smelly meh? Haihz. But anyway, since got no futsal shoes, I just used my walking shoe to play instead. Hope I don’t slip and break anything….

Upon arrival at the futsal court, I was introduced to other members by my friend that called me to join him for futsal today. All of them I did not know, but never mind, can get to meet new friends. I changed into my shoes (so shy la, other people got proper shoes, I got only walking shoes. I feel like a ballet dancer in a football field). Everyone warmed up, everyone got into position, and the kick-off commenced…..

Because I haven’t played futsal or any other sports for so long (almost 2 years already), my strategy for tonight was simple. Go back home with all bones in a correct position. Very simple, I just need to run around and if a ball comes my way, I just kick it away like a bomb going to explode. Yup, that was the plan. I just hope my team mates don’t kick me back for playing like that. Never mind, no broken bones enough already…

So, kick-off. My team-mates started to pass the ball around, everyone was running everywhere. Ok ok, so I started running too. My team-mates went for the attack, running at the left flank, teasing a defender. He needed someone to pass to, so I ran into the middle, right in front of goal. He saw me, he passed the ball to me, the ball rolling to me, yes, my moment of glory, World Cup here I come, I side-kicked the ball towards goal…and….SCORES!!!! Yes, that’s right, in my ballet shoes and with my first touch, I scored the first goal for the night. Hi-five, hi-five, back from retirement with my first goal.

So, an excellent start and I continued to run around passing and shooting at goal. But after awhile, we got a problem. Because there were so many people wanting to play, and everyone wearing different shirts, everyone got confused as to which person is in which team. So many times I passed to the wrong person as I though he was my team mate. But no, he just laughed at me and ran away with the ball. Shit. So, a lot of people complain and we decided that one team will NOT wear shirts so that team members can be seen easily, since it is so hot anyway. And shockingly, it was decided that my team will NOT wear shirts. OMIGOD. I’m not a sports person, and I don’t have a six pack. I got 1 pack only, 1 BIG pack that is called my belly. And i’m so thin compared to those sporty people. A shirtless thin boy in ballet shoes, I’m starting to feel like a schoolgirl. But luckily, 4 other team members were fatty bum-bums so I still got chance not to totally embarrass myself.

So we re-started the game and I started to run around, trying very hard to be macho and tried to play futsal at the same time. Things were going ok, I made a few good passes and nearly scored another goal. Good, keep it up I told myself. Then suddenly the ball came my way…Omigod!! Ok, ok, I was clear to goal, no defender in front of me and I started to unleash a shot towards goal…and suddenly, out of nowhere a big bad guy blocked me from my right side. The problem is, he didn’t only take the ball away from me, he took ME with him!!! We fell to the ground, he was ok and got up immediately, but I was on the ground thinking about my strategy: don’t break any bones. Ok ok, friends helped me up and I looked at myself for any white sticks sticking out from my body called bones. No, everything intact, I looked down and even saw my two nips still on the left and the right, in the same place since I was born. I did not become a freak. *Phewww*

We played for another 30 minutes and it was time to leave, and thank God because I was getting cramps from the left leg spreading very fast to the right leg. I pretended to be macho and slowly walked away from the court. After changing I left feeling quite satisfied, considering after 2 year I didn’t play any futsal, I scored a goal and played ok overall. Although a lot need to be improved (for example, my whole body need to be improved. Sigh), it was a satisfying return from futsal retirement. Now I just need to force my legs enough to drive me back home before my cramps start to spread …*Ouchhh*

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