Not Wanted

Weekend of 23rd & 24th June


Fixed an appointment today with a car mechanic to patch up my damaged door in the SS19 area. I know that place is expensive with a lot of sharks waiting for water fishes, but I have no choice because it is so convenient as I live nearby. Actually an old friend offered to fix to the door at around RM80 for knocking and spraying (just the damaged area only), but his garage is in Puchong, and I got no one to help drive another car to Puchong and fetch me back, because the car need to overnight. So, I got no choice but to send it to SS19, which cost me RM120. Expensive lehh. Luckily TK was free to fetch me back, but before that we went to SS15 a good round of dim sum. Yummy and cheap!!

With the car in the workshop, that only means one thing: no life. Yup, that Saturday I bummed around the house, going online, chit chatting on MSN and trying to look for water fishes with car to fetch me around. But, no luck. I quit MSN and went to my PS2 instead, playing Pro Evo 6 until late evening (trashed Liverpool 5-1 using Everton on difficult mode, yeah baby. Andrew Johnson scored 4 goals and Phil Neville headed in one goal. He’s not completely useless after all).

Staying at home, it was such a hot day that I sometimes felt I couldn’t breathe. How does my mum survive everyday at home, doing the cooking, washing, and ironing? Sometimes you just have to spend some time in mum’s shoes to really understand what they are going through as a mum, because everyday the dad is always away for work and the children are away hanging out in shopping malls, they don’t really feel the situation mums are in. So, this is to you mum for your everyday hard work: **MUAKSS**!!!

Anyway, yes, it was a hot day that day that even in an air-con room, I was almost bare-naked. Thank God for boxer-shorts I thought. And with this situation that something quite embarrassing happened. Outside my room door, some aunty or uncle came to my house to visit my mum, and she shouted for me to say ‘hi’. But I was too lazy to put a t-shirt and proper shorts on and leave my air-con room, so I pretended to be asleep haha. But mum shouted for me to say ‘hi’ and started to knock wildly on my door. Omigod, my clothes are in the other room, and my mum is going berserk with the door. If I don’t open the door soon, she will become something like the ‘She-Hulk’ crashing my door down screaming ‘Mama Smash!!’ With no choice, I opened the door and reveal my full body glory. In front of me I was shocked to find a gang of aunties and uncles sitting down and staring at me, not talking, just staring. I said a quiet ‘hi’ and tried to get some clothes but an aunty pulled me to the living room and screamed: “WAHH your boy so big already!!” I don’t know what or which part exactly she meant by ‘big’ but I just laughed and pretended it was a funny joke. Straight away other aunties was asking me questions of where I was working but I said I need to get a T-shirt, but the an uncle screamed “AIYAHH, guy nothing one lahh!!” Hhhmmm, gay uncle? Ugghh. Again, I pretend to just laugh. And with that laugh I got no escape already as other uncles and aunties started to continuously ask me questions, and I answered them in my boxer shorts. I quickly sat down to avoid being a showcase of weirdness and tried hard not to open my legs too wide, in case something pops out and give the aunties and uncles a heart attack (except for the gay uncle, he will probably join in with the popping). I don’t know whether they know boxer shorts are some kind of underwear and not normal shorts. I think if they knew, they would have let me get some clothes already haha. You see, I’m not embarrassed with being shirtless or whatever in front of people. What I was afraid of is my boxer shorts, or rather, what is behind the boxer shorts. Because, the shorts are kinda loose, and if my ‘DiDI’ is behaving badly…’PAI SEH’!!! Luckily nothing ‘major’ happened and they left after 1 hour.

My collection of boxers. Sexy biatches yeah.

After they left, I felt like going for a swim, but no one was interested or already has plans. I thought about playing some B-ball with the usual gang, but I forgot: it is Saturday and the usual gang is away with their girlfriends or family. Crap, back to square one again. Evening turned into night, and it was dinner time. Ok, I got dinner to worry about now. Called a few people, but again, they are away with someone or something. Again, I was left to contemplate the night alone. Sigh. I asked Dad to ‘tapau’ something for me, and ate at home on a Saturday night.

You see, for me a car is essential. If I lost my hand-phone, it is still ok because I got a spare and I keep most friends numbers in a notebook (yup, I know it’s weird for a guy to do that, but I do. Keep laughing). If I lost my PC to a virus, it is still ok because my blood veins do not go line-in-line with an online PC. If I lost my walk-man it is still ok, because my hand-phone still has the songs that I always listen too. But a car. Now, when my car goes missing, it is the end of my life as I know it. My life goes into an abrupt halt and I’ll be spending the days and nights with Mr. Lonely. I cannot go pick people up for yamca or meet someone somewhere. Friends often do not come to fetch me because most of them they live quite far. And friends that live nearby, unfortunately this day all of them are busy or away. So, I’m left with nothing, nobody, not even call to ask me how’s the car and whether I need a lift. Maybe it’s my car, or maybe it’s my friends that don’t really care for me. They are only friends when I can fetch them to somewhere, and if not, they will find someone else. Are my friends like that….? Sometimes I feel like they are, like when I really need something, they are not there. They will just carry on with their lives and do not want to be bothered with other people’s difficulties. Are you all like that….?

I spent the Saturday night at home watching DVDs (“Finding Neverland” with Johnny Depp. Good movie, good acting and great directing from Marc Forster). Went to sleep at 2am.


Woke up early to get my car back, and finally it’s fixed. With the car I went all the way to KL to see SL. We already planned to meet up together earlier yesterday and I was hoping for a good day today since yesterday was so boring. I heard that ‘Bakerzine’ had opened a new outlet in KLCC, with 20% off total bill opening promotion for June, so my excitement was rolling. While at KLCC I was then planning to buy early tickets to ‘Transformers’ to get good seats. It was a ‘happy proof’ plan, so what can go wrong? Actually, everything went wrong. Upon arriving at SL’s place, SL was in a terrible mood and made a fuss about everything. SL were supposed to meet up a few friends later that day, and just earlier SL got a call that they are meeting up earlier at one of the friend’s house. But then I arrived, and earlier I told SL that I planned to go KLCC. So there’s a clash of timing. So I suggested we go to the friend’s house and forget about KLCC. You said no and we stick to the KLCC plan. I said are you sure? You said yes. Then I said never mind, KLCC will always be there, lets go to the friend’s house instead. Then you got pissed and everything went sour from there. You were not talking and were giving me the irritated look, annoyed that I was there, and quickly gave me the impression that I was in the way and spoiling all of your plans. All the way to KLCC, you were not interested at all about everything, even when we were at KLCC, you were walking away from me and was rushing to get out of KLCC. Ok fine, if that’s the case, let’s get out of KLCC and do whatever you wanted to do. But no, you were in a ‘whatever’ mode and I was pissed at that. In return I rushed through ‘Bakerzine’, did not enjoy it at all and did not buy the cinema tickets. I rushed back to your place and dropped you off. What the hell, I came all the way from Subang to KL to see you and I get this in return? I offered you to go anywhere you choose, but you didn’t bother. It seems that KLCC was not the problem, and it felt that I was problem. I was making you miss the chance to meet your friends, correct? I was the uninvited guest and I should not have come that day. Fine, I told SL that I get the hint CLEARLY. SL said that’s not the problem, but all that has happened made me feel that way, so I left in a hurry and did not join SL with the friends.

I got hurt because of you that day and it hurts madly to be treated as an annoyance to your life. If you want time with your friends, please tell me earlier and not until I drove all the way to your place and then tell me in front of my face. It hurts even deeper. Or is that what you really wanted? I’m not a toy to fill your empty weekends without your friends. Whatever reason you gave me that day about your behavior, I accepted it with running tears and a hurtful heart .You mentioned you are sorry, well I’m sorry for bothering you with your great friends. I just would like you to know that I’m still hurt and not fully forgiven you. Do I feel sad? Do I feel sorrow? No, in fact I felt grateful, grateful for letting me know what my place in your heart is and my place in your life is, and for that I thank you….now I know.

From the Corner - A Musical Companion

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