Review: The Dark Knight

The mere mention of ‘Batman’ and anyone would associate it with the likes of ‘Spider-Man’ or ‘Iron Man’ that are more crowd-pleasing and eye-candy. That is true if it’s ‘Batman’, but not Christopher Nolan’s ‘Batman’. Nolan injected this legendary comic book character with so much style, so much charisma, so much life that it instantly establishes itself way apart from all other superhero films as well as all other ‘Batman’ films in the past, into a sprawling epic that is infused with so much drama even the likes of Michael Mann or Martin Scorsese will be proud to call their own. Christopher Nolan’s ‘Batman’ is no child’s play, it is a gritty crime saga that is densely layered with gripping tales of revenge, corruption and of course, heroism. Multi-dimensional characters that are irresistibly intriguing and spectacularly play-out by award-winning actors litter the screen so abundantly that such an assemble cast will make even ‘The Sopranos’ hide in envious jealousy. ‘The Dark Knight’ is not just any superhero film, it is a film of masterful story-telling infused with spectacular style that is brought to life by stirring performances by its talented actors.

For a film with such high commercialism, one would rave rabidly about its action sequences or special effects. Not in this case. The highlight of ‘The Dark Knight’ (besides Heath Ledger’s take as ‘The Joker’, I’ll go there pretty soon) is the quality of the story. Co-written by director Chris Nolan and his brother Jonathan Nolan, the screenplay is the closest to a masterpiece of a crime saga not seen since ‘The Godfather’, and what is remarkable is that they pulled it off with a caped crusader and not with Marlon Brando. Now THAT is an extraordinary achievement. I’m not going into the details of the story as to avoid spoiling this incredible effort of story-telling for you, but I must mention that this is a giant leap from its first film and the story is densely intertwined with drama, humor and action pulled together with perfect chemistry. And the ending, you shall be enlightened as to why our hero is called ‘The Dark Knight’…

Now for Heath Ledger as ‘The Joker’. He is absolutely stellar and compelling played to such delicious extreme, he literally takes command of everyone’s attention whenever he appears on screen. You just cannot take your eyes off him, he is simply magnetic. His every move, his every theatrics, his every crumbling make-up and his every lick of his lips are stunningly portrayed to perfection as a sadistic villain with a morbid sense of humor that brings new meaning to the word terrorist. The true strength of ‘The Joker’ is not those one-liner quips or smart-ass poses, but what completes the character is his much longer monologues that are infused with eccentric body movements and fits of fanatical laughter. His words weaves layers upon layers of havoc and madness on Gotham City, truths and lies overlaps and are unclear, every manipulating scheme are unveiled only at the very last effective moment and whenever he finishes any of his maddening speeches, he actually ends up as the smartest guy in the room. He lets you think he is insane, which is equal to reckless and un-intelligent. He is however neither. He embodies every essence of anarchy and villainy, and one would easily think that he is simply not just ‘The Joker’, but in fact The Devil himself.

Heath Ledger’s portrayal of ‘The Joker’ was so tremendous, it actually made me feel angry and ashamed that Jack Nicholson did not push his version far enough (in Tim Burton’s ‘Batman’). I used to think that Jack Nicholson’s portrayal of a villain was the benchmark for all actors to seek manic badness from. But now, it dawned on me that Jack Nicholson and Tim Burton made ‘The Joker’ a laughing clown. Instead of being a true maniac, Heath Ledger made me dislike the Jack’s portrayal of a villain that I once enjoyed. Call me disloyal, but I call it a testament to how fantastic Heath Ledger did his job as being ‘The Joker’, and it’s no laughing matter. The status-quo of villainy has been redefined by Heath Ledger and Christopher Nolan, and now every over-reacting and moustache-twirling cheapskate that simply thinks by wearing a black suit with gelled-back hair will pull it off as a bad guy, well these cheapskates can think again. Watching Ledger’s every animalistic movement, every devilish speech and every serpent lick of his lips is something to behold and admire as it is something that is not seen before on screen, and I think we will never ever see again.

Not to down-play the performances of other actors in this film, but the performances of Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne aka ‘Batman’ are commendable, and we get to see an equal amount of screen time between Bruce Wayne and ‘Batman’. The only downside I find is that of ‘Batman’s awkwardly deep voice whenever he is ‘Batman’. I understand that he needs to hide his true tone of voice from identification purposes, but his deep-toned voice is sometimes distracting and fake. Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent aka ‘Two Face’ also is praiseworthy for successfully portraying the dual personalities of the character. However, my annoyance with ‘Two Face’ was the repetitive flicking of his coin to decide the fates of individuals that confronts him. I understand that this is his distinctive practice of his character, but I think it has been over emphasized way too many times and should have been toned down a little. But I guess I’m no Chris Nolan. Other actors such as Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Maggie Gyllenhaal and particularly Gary Oldman as ‘Commissioner Gordon’ all delivered solid performances that successfully provided additional drama and emotions whenever needed. Oh, and for Hong Kong film fans, do look-out for Edison Chen’s very brief cameo in the film as well. I’ve never seen him since THOSE incidents…

As for technical aspects of the film, everything is done to stunning perfection across the board. Wally Pfister’s cinematography is richly textured and moody, and with the used of IMAX cameras for a few of the action sequences, every detail is captured and shown to the audience in grand magnificence. The editing is also smooth and seamless, as the film flows from scene to scene without feeling confused. The visual effects are done to a minimum without over saturating the film with too much CGI and that successfully manages to maintain the realism of Gotham City. As for the music by multi-Oscar winning composers Hans Zimmer (Gladiator) and James Howard (The Sixth Sense), the over-dramatic orchestra compositions are utilized to an effective minimum. In fact, the most memorable and eerie moments with ‘The Joker’ was accompanied by simply pulling a high-pitched note from a violin.

‘The Dark Knight’ is intriguing from start to finish, climaxing to a gratifying but daring conclusion that leaves the saga with just that little piece of cliffhanger that hints of a third film. Of course, the hint is indeed a no-brainer as all the major actors are signed up for 3 installments. In the end, this film is easily the most satisfying of all wide-release films thus far (even ‘Iron Man’ pales in comparison to this). A film that not only meets all expectations but also surpasses well beyond anything we came to imagine from a film of this genre. It is definitely re-watchable for multiple times, especially to admire the work of Heath Ledger that had left us at the most inappropriate of times as he was only starting to turn into a really great actor. He already got nominated for an Academy Award for his part in ‘Brokeback Mountain’, and I really hope he wins ‘Best Supporting Actor’ this time as ‘The Joker’ (‘Best Actor’ may be a bit pushing it). It sounds crazy I know but if George Clooney can win it in 2005 with the film ‘Syriana’, then why not Heath? My heart goes out to Heath for this remarkable contribution and my fingers are crossed when Academy Award nomination time comes… Oh c’mon Mr. Oscar, if you have any decency in you, just do this for Heath…

Verdict: 10 / 10 ... Heck, make it 20 /10 ... No no, wait it's 200 / 10 'coz this movie is off the freakin' charts!!!

Reviewed by: Raymond Choy

EPILOGUE: (Belated) Birthday Surprise @ Home !!!

Just wanna mention abit more about THAT birthday surprise weekend. As you may already have known in my previous blog postings, I was ambushed and bombed by almost 100 water balloons in my own damn home. Not only that, I was rained with cold water and smeared with yucky slices of cakes. But I’m not pissed, I’m not angry….no way. It was all for fun right? Right….*cough* Anyway, there was a birthday cake for me and all so it was definitely fun and thoroughly memorable. Again, thanks guys.

But that’s not all that had happened during my time back in KL from 21st June to 22nd June. The very next day, V (yes, V) and Prasad took me and SL out to have some ‘celebrations’ of sorts as well. V and Prasad had been asking for a lunchie or dinner for ages every time I got back to KL. This time around I could not disappoint them again ‘cause I think it’s the 4th time they are asking me out (a curse from my popularity? Hahaha, joking joking).

Anyway, we whisked away in Prasad’s Vios and he took us for something that was SO unforgettably yummy and ‘shiok’. It was bowls after bowls of ‘chili pan-mee’. Yes, some of you might have already heard it or tasted it, but I haven’t. The ‘pan-mee’ is kinda ordinary and is served dry with an egg on the side (served with the mee, so you gotta mash it all up abit). But the magic ingredient was the delicious concoction of dry chili paste (chili flakes, chili padi, chili whatever that you can think of) and you will have to scoop this onto your ‘pan mee’ and do your best twister impression to mix it all up. The amount of chilies is entirely up to you, but the more of it is deliciously much better. But be warned, the crowd can get huge at times and so the wait is kinda long. Also, be sure to wear something comfy and cool, ‘cause the combination of huge crowds and bowls after bowls of ‘chili pan mee’ can get you all sweat up pretty darn good. This beats the gym any day in my opinion hahaha. Not sure exactly how much for one bowl as Prasad belanja all of us (and also for my treat as the birthday boy haha) but I think I saw a sign that said ‘RM4.50 per bowl’ somewhere. But it’s around that price la I guess. In the meantime, feast your eyes on the photos before you eventually go there to try it all out:

The noodles before the storm. Looks plain now but....

....after you add these magical chili paste into the mix....


...you get this flaming bowl of spiced-up pan mee that will guarantee to make you sweat for more.

Wanna know where it is? Here’s the address:

Restoran Kin Kin,
Jalan Dewan Sultan Sulaiman,
Kuala Lumpur.

Plain and simple address. But kinda confusing to find hehe....Good luck!!!

Anyway, after the flaming bowls of ‘chili pan mee’ (I had 2 bowls. And that was 10am in the morning) we headed off to a drink to cool off. This time we went for something slightly higher class instead, and headed off to Damansara Uptown’s 'Starbucks' to try out their new (and seasonal, which means the drink will be no more after the season is over!!) ‘Dark Mocha Frap’. Obviously if you love all things chocolate and chips, you are gonna love this. Cooling and not too overly-thick with chocolate, I think it’s a nice addition to the family of frap drinks at Starbucks. No photos taken unfortunately, but I'm sure you all know how it looks like. Standard cup and green straw lah of course ;)

And with that drink, we headed back to my home and I went straight to the airport. Arrived back in Labuan at the same evening, I thoroughly had a wonderful time and it was another memorable weekend back in KL....

Review: Hellboy 2 - The Golden Army

The director is absolutely amazing. Guillermo Del Toro is one of the most imaginative and creative individuals around and he is a prime model of how a filmmaker should be. He is one that remembers his dreams or nightmares, be it at childhood or adulthood, and transfers them into his movies with creative relish. Every wonderment, horror, curiosity or pleasure is ripped from his subconscious and are revealed in celluloid form for all to savor. His past films such as ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ as director and ‘ El Orfanato’ or ‘The Orphanage’ as producer, both in Spanish, are prime examples of his artistic and inspired palette. Both great films that intertwines fantasy with reality aided by a touch of horror, these films are modern classics that I guarantee will not disappoint even the most stringent of viewers, that is if such flavor is ideal for your cinematic tastes. Even though Hellboy is not a brainchild of Del Toro (Mike Mignola will be given credit to that distinction), Del Toro manages to inject fantastic visual and artistic stimulus coupled with great humor that raised the world of Hellboy to a degree of wonderment not seen or felt in any medium before.

Visually throughout the film, Del Toro paints an unbelievably beautiful canvas of fairy tale creations that exists no where else but only in the mind of Del Toro. Hundreds of creatures, characters and settings fill the screen from inch to inch with wonderful creativity, and at moments when I was in the cinema I wished that I had a remote control to pause scene by beautiful scene and gasp in awe of these amazing creations. My most memorable and favorite creation in the film was this creature that had a cathedral for a head. That’s right. Who would have though of it? Another aspect that forged my respect towards him was his many uses of animatronics, and it shows in the film. I am hardly a great fan of CGI (seeing CGI characters fighting each other just turns me off), the usage of a new form of animatronics called ‘Spectral Motion’ was surprisingly good as it not only gave the characters fluidity but also a greater sense of personality with an added dimension of realism.

There was so much to admire. ‘The Golden Army’ for example was a jaw-dropping sight to behold, and being given the distinction of appearing in the title of the film, they did not disappoint. The Troll Market. What a memorable experience what had me holding my every inch of eye muscle to not blink and miss a second of what unfolded before my eyes. A parade of grotesque and unique characters littered the screen, and at this sequence of celluloid magic we, the audience, finally get to actually glimpse into the wonderful and yet perturbed mind of Del Toro. This sequence may yet be his single most creative masterpiece as he lets the film and story move on as per usual, however at every corner and backdrop of this sequence we can spot an assembly of creatures that is simply screaming for your attention. Del Toro created this sequence with absolute brilliance and skill.

But I guess now I should talk about the story. The usual suspects return to entertain us with their dark humor and atypical antics such as Ron Pearlman as Hellboy, Selma Blair as his love interest, and most interestingly Dough Jones as Abe Sapien. But this time around, Abe Sapien is much more evident and plays a more critical role in this sequel. He even gets to kick ass once in awhile, which was refreshing. Not only Dough Jones did a wonderful job in providing the body language and motions so distinctive for Abe Sapien, but he also voices Abe to perfection that gave us an interpretation of a character so wonderful and distinctive not seen since Andy Serkis portrayed Gollum in ‘The Lord of The Rings’. His character development is thorough and apparent, and to see him bonding with Hellboy is a joy. My favorite moment? Abe, Hellboy with Barry Manilow and many cans of beer. Watch it to believe it.

Oh, and the introduction of Dr. Johann Strauss to the character mix has a fresh and enjoyable kick too. If you are a fan of the Marvel comic book universe, you will notice a resemblance to the Mysterio character that gave Spider-Man a few good lessons in villainy. A harbinger of things to come? I am not sure but my finders are sure crossed with much anticipation and enthusiasm. Anyway, the good Doctor Johann Strauss is voiced by Seth McFarlane from “The Family Guy” fame, and is voiced deliciously with a staunchy german accent. This somewhat mysterious character that is noted for this efficiency is a fantastic addition to the ‘Paranormal Research and Defense’ team and I am definitely looking forward to seeing more from him in upcoming sequels (if there are any).

There is so much more to mention and yet, I will not, as all of it will be just words to many if it is not been admired or seen in the cinema hall. But one thing is definitely clear. There is no doubt in my mind that Guillermo Del Toro is one of the world’s few visionary directors in existence at the moment. His past works were marvels of fantasy brilliance, and from such successes we now have more greatness to look forward to as Del Toro is assigned to handle ‘The Hobbit’ films in the near future (as Peter Jackson did not involve himself due to personal clashes with the distributor). To be given such a wonderful task is a testament to his genius and talent as a creative filmmaker, and we, the audience of modern cinema should captivate every vision and every work from him with optimum fascination as only so few creators exists to amaze us to such a fantastic degree. May the mind of a strange and yet wonderful creator like Guillermo Del Toro live on for ages to come.

A wonderful film not for its big-bang action set pieces or for its grandeur such as ‘The Lord of The Rings’ as admittedly the action in ‘Hellboy 2’ is nothing new, but still it is a film to be admired for its ingenuity and also as a celebration for a film of wonderful creativity. In my opinion, this is the best film of the year so far (although with the impending arrival of ‘The Dark Knight’, things COULD change), but whichever turns out to be the better, ‘Hellboy 2’ is a film that is definitely not to be missed.

Verdict: 8 / 10

Reviewed by: Raymond Choy

Review: Hancock

Even before 'Hancock' went into production (with a earlier title of 'Tonight He Comes'), news of its fresh and innovation script that takes on a much more alternative perspective at a superhero attracted much innovative praise. Never once Hollywood had done a film on a hero that “don’t give a f**k” about who he is or what he is supposed to do. He is simply him and just wants to get on with his life as he sees fit. Although this kind of angle has been done to death in the comics world, but in Hollywood is still deemed fresh. As such, the script attracted a major movie studio to finance it with mega-big-bucks, attracted a major star to play the main character, and attracted a much-acclaimed director to wave his celluloid wand to bring us superhero magic. How can anything possibly go wrong? Well, in one simple word, everything.

The film starts off pretty well with a premise of some great possibilities, i.e. redemption from his never-care-less attitude towards everything and everyone around him, his lack of responsibility towards his superhero abilities and his habit of alcoholism that are centered in a true-to-life setting of Los Angeles provides a solid basis for an interesting story arc. But half way through the movie, the strong concept collapses onto its on weight and runs aground into a quagmire of disorder that altered a promising film into a medium that is attuned to the needs of Will Smith’s star commercialism. In other words, it went all too Hollywoody.

A commercial film it may turn out to be, and yet, at certain moments in the film the tone turns dark with constant swearing and at-times vicious fight sequences that left me in a state of perplexity. At certain moments, it is violent in its action sequences (especially in the hospital) and yet juvenile in its jokes (and yet not particularly funny) with ‘colorful’ language that do not do go well to children’s ears. It is a juxtaposition that left me in a state of total confusion and I took on an uneasy feeling throughout the film. I’m not sure which demographic the director, Peter Berg (The Kingdom, The Rundown, Friday Night Lights) is aiming for but in my opinion he should just stick to one direction and focus on it. If he wants it to be sinister toned, then by all means be consistent with the violence. If this film is for the kids, then the ending with the fight sequence in a hospital should not have been there as I think its way too brutal for the eyes of children. I think Peter Berg was way to ambitious with this project by wanting to please way too many types of people, and in the end all he had achieved is diluting this promising premise into a concoction of celluloid mess.

The story itself is saturated with lame sentimentality and is tied down by a backstory that gets all the more tiresome as the film progresses. The film tried to be too elaborate with themes of lost love and cheating fate until at times it contradicts itself and leaves the audience all the more confused. The attempt to add depth to the Hancock character turned out to the biggest mistake of the film until it all becomes useless pieces of fillers to plug the gaps between one grand fight sequences to the next and to carry us limping towards its finale.

In the end, ‘Hancock’ is a cumbersome mess that elates only the most loyal of Will Smith fan or is a gargantuan supporter of CGI-induced films. The shaky-cam effect that was so effective to the 'Bourne' series were also very nauseous-ly executed which didn't help the film at all in any redeeming way. The promising story of a superhero with a redemption theme mixed with scathing black comedy were thrown out the window and became a film that got pulled into way too many directions that satisfied no one. Too dark for kids, too tame for teens and too dumb for adults, it’s all a complete mess. This is one Will Smith movie that I regrettably watched with total dissatisfaction. But if this film still does well at the box-office, I guess it’s a testament to the star-power of Will Smith. If he can sell this mess, he can definitely sell anything.

Verdict: 5 / 10

Reviewed by: Raymond Choy

PROLOGUE: (Belated) Birthday Surprise @ Home!!!

Just wanna share with everyone just how those people planned my birthday surprise attack at my home that resulted in me being bombarded with water balloons, smelly cakes and cold water. It all started with a sneeky thread in Facebook...Cheeky blardy devils all of you!!! (*Thanks to Maj's blog for the transcript).

( Initiator of discussion wishes to remain anonymous for obvious reasons [probably Maj] ): want to start planning for his “welcome back party”? his actual birthday is on 9th june. any idea when he’ll be back? he’ll definitely suspect an ambush, so i suggest we switch tactics. like get SL to invite him for a romantic dinner and we’ll turn it into a nightmare. i’m thinking water balloons. and tissue paper. lots of tissue paper. what do you think?

uncle: first of all, lemme check with SL first when he’s coming back. i knew he’s coming home but for 2 days only…guess on sat-sun somethin like that, unless he changed plan.

nei: well water is way much more better than whipped cream!! I don’t wanna have another stinky head just in case i kena backfire again -_-

VJ: once bitten twice shy eh!!good good, you learnt your lesson.

nei: spit spit spitttttttt at kanasai vj!! of all place u wanna corner theva to!!

VJ: oii chill lah!! not confirm yet…i was just saying….ok my bad, wrongly constructed the sentence….it was suppose to be, ” Is the surprise party going to be on Monday? Just wondering so that we dont end up doing after he has come and gone.” Now, isnt that better!!

uncle: got the latest news, he wont be back tis weekend….he will be back only on 20th & probably back to Labuan on 22nd or 23rd…so, how?

nei: LOL cepat confirm plan!! i need to check on my “BUSY” schedule and YES I am quite the busy nowadays tho still considered as bumming.

emma: ehhh im so out of touch, so long never log in, anything MSG me k??

nei: emma u sukkkkkkkkkkk

uncle: from what i knew is he’s definitely goin to spend the whole sat wif his gf. maybe sun nite is just nice with little help from his gal…wat’s ya thinkin?? but he being a mobile person, u wont be expecting him to be at home for most of the time for these 3 days…..think of that bloody theva’s event.. so…how bout at his home? or any bigger plan or idea?

nei: btw SIVA’s birthday is coming up TOO. Why not double combo!

VJ: hey if siva’s b’day also around the same time as raymond, then what we can do is con the both of them into believing that the victims is the other but in real fact, its the both of them!!Then both will kena super power combo X10!!

maj: geniuses. siva’s facebook is receiving this discussion tread la. refer to recepient list above.
uncle:hahahaha…great geniuses.!!!!

nei: that’s why i mentioned raymond the ONLY victim huhu!

maj: nei tries the cover line…

VJ: ARRGHHHH CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Didnt see la…….ok cancel plan. Time i keep my mouth shut
discussion continues in a second thread. minus siva. adds SL.

paul: Personally,I think just grab raymond + dunk him with ladies underwear. Post the pictures. haha..j.kidding.

uncle: (the original water plan) sounds perfect….although I doubted Siva can be sooo naive to believe us..he’s a lawyer anyway, blame vijay & nei for putting us in tis siutation. well, i can ask ray’s mum on tis matter & i’m pretty sure & would love to be part of tis..

nei: wahhh it was VJ!!!!!!! at least i cover line nice nice after i mentioned bout siva LOL. i bet ray’s mom will be happy to play a part since she and her hubby SABO you the other time in pangkor uncle LOL. They are definitely sporting enuff.

maj: getting to raymond will be the easy part. any idea how to get siva? we need to know if he is free on saturday night dulu. it would be so james bond to have both of them tied up on chairs with their backs against each other, kan? kalau ada police ronda masa tu, we all will surely kena angkut masuk balai. i’m assuming the twins don’t check facebook very often.

paul: someone will need to be my driver ..ehehhe… my driving license expired la..
emma texts everyone raving about watching a movie together.

uncle: since emma is suggesting of a movie tis sat…can we do like ” all in one”?? surprise first, then movie & then maybe dinner or wateva??

emma: yes yes KUNGFU PANDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

paul: it is a weekend after all. go out later,stay up late ler..unless u guys gone old and wussy ehehehe.

VJ: yes paul, if u have not realised, WE ARE OLD!!!!!old enough to get married (AHEM!!!)

paul: gonna be a bit of a problem VJ. I need to find myself a chick first. any introductions?

emma: eh hello, this is a thread on saturday’s plan, NOT your personal dating agency OK. if you want, paul, I could post something up for you in the personal ads.. but then you’d get a lot of calls from transvestites and paedophiles.. so better put it up yrself. its the only way.

emma: KUNGFU PANDA KUNGFU PANDA KUNGFU PANDA KUNGFU PANDA

paul: Vijay implicates marriage. I imply ‘kebujangan’…ehehhe
there were two meet ups to sort out details. participants of the meet up will remain anonymous. discussion continues in a third thread. subject: THE PLAN.

maj: so nei to start making water balloons at 9am. target: 16 people x 5 balloons each = 80 balloons (SOS: anyone has extra plastic buckets, please pinjam nei!). ETA everyone to arrive at ss14 padang at 7pm (VJ to join in. total number of persons: 11 persons minimum). everyone to get raymond to centre of padang. SL to remove raymond’s wallet + handphone.

nei: wake up 9 am make water balloons!! siao!!! And seriously la I NEED BUCKETS to store the balloons. Raymond’s parents won’t be joining us but uncle got the house key frm ray’s mom so we’ll be invading his house instead. So there will be few changes to the original plan! New location to bomb raymond (+siva) with water balloons = outside raymond’s house.

emma: shit, u guys are Oceans 11 or what?

paul: just tell me when to throw the balloon la

uncle: ok ok..this is the latest update… Ray’s goin to watch movie at noon tomorrow & will join us with SL. Nei, Maj & Thiru will have the time to go to Ray’s house to prepare the stuffs. I’ve passed the keys to Nei. Once kungfu panda movie is done, each of us will “suddenly” have other plans to do & need to go somewhere & will leave only SL & Ray. She will find ways to get him to go back home first. everyone shall be in his house before he arrives, pls call if u think ur not making it on time…

paul: Most my cash is in Hong Kong Dollars!

End of planning discussion. As Maj said, you know what happened after that (if you don't, read next post!!!) Photos are all over this blog, Maj's blog, Facebook, Friendster and videos are posted on Youtube!!!

(Belated) Birthday Surprise @ Home!!!

Back in KL: Weekend of 21st June ~ 22nd June 2008.

Well my birthday was on the 9th of June. So I guess if I skipped my trip back to KL during that time would allow me to miss all the fuss and duzzle, ‘cause recently there is this in-thing now to throw surprises among my old classmates (example: Uncle at Pangkor with foam sprays and Theva at his home with flying cakes). So, coming back 2 weeks later would probably cover my butt from these surprise attacks. WROOOOOOOONG!!!!!!! I still got surprise attacked. In fact, I think I got the biggest surprise attack ever assembled so far. In fact, I think my decision to come back 2 weeks later gave them more time to plan and execute their attack. CURSES!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here’s what these oh-so-friendly people did to me: when I was on my way back to my home, with all the lights still turned off and at the exact moment I opened the house door, a rabid-crazed group of friends attacked me with almost 100 (I think) water balloons (‘high-quality’ balloons that was hard to explode, therefore more painful. Thank you so much Ah Nei Nei), drenched me in fridge-cold water and plastered me with smelly cakes all over me. It feels so ‘good’ to be so appreciated, doesn’t it?

The mortar of water balloons did the most damage, and here’s the damage report:

1.) Head – 2 direct hits at the back, 3 skimmed my head by millimeters.
2.) Body – At least 5 direct hits, and 4 did not explode.
3.) Arms – 1 exploded when I tried too hard to throw it back. Dammitttttt…..
4.) Legs – 2 directs hits to the thigh, approximately 2 did not explode.
5.) Crotch – 1 direct hit. This will not go un-avenged THEVAAAA!!!!
6.) Butt – 1 skimmed my left cheek. Sexy as it may sound, but its not. A few centimeters more and I’ll be crying…

I was super soaked and super tired from throwing back the un-exploded water balloons, and I think Uncle had to stop half way to take a break before resuming the attack!!! I guess we all are too old for this shit hahaha….Anyway, I must admit I was surprised to bits and have to say that it was a damn well-planned operation. A lot of people were part of it, and here’s the list of The Culprits (which I will hunt down one by one. No will escape my wrath. No one…):

The Devil’s List:

1.) Tian Kuan
2.) Theva
3.) Thiru
4.) Majidah and partner
5.) Paul
6.) Ah Nei Nei
7.) Vijay and partner
8.) Emma
9.) Siew Ling
10.) My parents (of all people!!! UUrrghhhh!!!)

This surprise attack was clearly not a work of an ad-hoc basis. It was meticulously planned with operational execution that will make any military general beaming with pride. The operation was in motion the moment the day began (and the planning weeks before this I bet), and here’s what happened on that fateful day, the 21st of June, 2008, in chronological order…

11:00 HRS: Woke up and had Bak Kut Teh for brunch with Siew Ling around Subang area. Noticed Siew Ling made a few anonymous SMSes and calls. I asked who it was, but she changed the subject. My suspicions were ignited….

12:00 HRS: Drove to 1U to watch ‘The Incredible Hulk’. Siew Ling walked off to voluntarily buy me coffee at ‘Starbucks’ while I was queuing for ticket. I wondered why…

14:30 HRS: After the movie then went to ‘Monsoon-id’ to have my hair cut, which took me 2 hours, most of the time waiting for the stylist.

16:30 HRS: Walking around 1U and receives call from Majidah that movie is at ‘Sunway Pyramid’ instead and movie is at 6pm.

17:00 HRS: Siew Ling suggests having something to eat. Went to ‘Sushi Zenmai’, and at that moment she gave me my birthday present (a CK watch). I was happy to bits.

17:45 HRS: Rushed to ‘Sunway Pyramid’ for the movie. Receives calls from Majidah and Ah Nei but Ah Nei didn’t’ say anything over the phone (which was very suspicious)…

18:30 HRS: Arrives at TGV cinema and proceeds to watch ‘Kung Fu Panda’ with the rest of The Culprits…

19:45 HRS: After the movie, Tian Kuan says we are going to “Crocodile Farm” for seafood (but I believed that the place closed down ages ago. My suspicions were exploding). The Culprits says they “got something to do first but will meet again later” with the exception of Tian Kuan (as it turns out, he stayed behind to monitor me. Ingenious).

20:00 HRS: Went to buy ‘JCo Donuts’ and had a cup of coffee at ‘Old Town Kopitiam’. While chit-chatting with Tian Kuan, he receives numerous calls, but I did not suspect anything because he spoke in BM, and he normally speaks BM for his office matters. Very smart move….

20:15 HRS: While walking back to the car, Siew Ling repeatedly asks me for my handphones. I had 2 handphones, I gave her 1 but the other I refused to give at first. After repeated attempts, I gave it to her eventually.

20:20 HRS: I was on the impression that I was driving to ‘Crocodile Farm’ as planned, but Siew Ling suddenly said she got stomach ache and wanted to go back to my home first. I obliged, thinking it would just be a pit-stop. When arrived at my house, Siew Ling asked me to open the door (suspicion EXPLODING like an atomic bomb. Why all these requests??!!) And yet I obliged. I inserted the key. I turned the lock. It clicked open as usual. I swung the door wide open. Pitch blackness. My vision was in darkness. Complete silence. I walked in. I noticed outlines of figures in front of me. Too late. There was a roar. And it had begun….

Around 20 minutes later the attack had died and I was soaked with water. My house porch was drenched in water and exploded balloons littered the area. Some balloons went over to the neighbors too!! It was a warzone. And I was the target…and how could I have been so careless….

It was not all about water balloons as they ordered pizzas, drinks and of course, a birthday cake. And they sang happy birthday too. WOW. I never had that experience in a LONG time. So much effort and time went into this, and I guess I must thank you all from the bottom of my heart for this. Really, it was a great night and experience that I will NEVER forget (and I will definitely NEVER forget who done this to me…my wrath has spoken).

After the party, we went to a nearby mamak stall and I just had to belanja them back for their efforts. It’s not much but at least it was something right!!!

We took pictures of course, and videos as well. Take a look at the night of the balloon fight!!!:

Weapons of Mass Destruction.

"So who dropped their fake boob?"

The battlefield. Take a look at how many ballons exploded!! Curses to Ah Nei Nei (and for the painfully 'high-quality' ballons)!!!

Relics of Battles Past...

We got debris!!! Its Iraq all over again...

Head shot for the styrofoam...rest it piece...

Collateral damage!!! A stray bomb that went to the neighbours...

"Paul to base..mission accomplished." (puffs on smoke).

Group photo!!! (The decent one).

The group is awed by emma's levitating magic trick of the pillow...

B'day cake all round...thanks for the cake peeps!!!

Peace for the pieces of cake.

This damn uncle seems to be freakin' happy about all this...

A mutilated cake...

Either it was a twister that went through here or a giant rat that scurried past the food!!!

Awwwww, my present all wrapped up from Siew Ling...

It's my birthday present!!!! Thanks so much, love you loadssssss!!!!

And here are the videos taken by Majidah documenting the final few moments leading to the surprise attack. Cheeky monkeys all of you!!!

Pre-Ambush: A beautiful message from Emma:

Pre-Ambush: They were in my house!! IN MY HOUSE!! AARRGHHH!!

AMBUSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

The Aftermath: Ah Nei the Auntie & Theva the Hungry

And here's a video that Majidah took that was disguised as taking a photo. Cheeky devil!!! Watch the video and see how we bummers prepare ourselves for picture taking. Notice that Ah Nei Nei was the only eager beaver, posing again and again until fedup haha....Take notice that this video is rated 'PG' as parental guidance is advised due to scenes of highly 'suggestive' manner (i.e. Theva and Tian Kuan with the slinky). Be warned to the faint of heart.....

Thank you all for the hard effort and planning!!! Very much appreciated!!!! ~~~*Bows in gratitude & glee*~~~

Review: Wanted

Finally got to see ‘Wanted’ after so many failed attempts at it due to ‘full-house’ sessions at the cineplexes. So was it worth my time at the queues? Well, if you like full-blooded-alpha-male-testosterone-charged brutality disguised in a ballet of flying bullets coupled with stunts that defy all laws of science (which would put Einstein to shame), then yes, this is your cup of tea. But if you are expecting ’27 Dresses’, then stay well clear as ‘Wanted’ is nothing more than a big bad storm in a badly-chipped tea cup.

This film delivers super slick special effects and couple this with a skimpy-clad Angelina Jolie (plus a censored scene of rear-bearing action, download this NOW) while kicking asses as though someone killed her mother all over the silver screen will rock anyone’s balls to the core. Heck, it got mine gyrating at all of her scenes (don’t you just love cinemas with their big screens?) That said, you would now know which demographic this film totally aims for.

Kazakhstan-born director Timur Bekmambetov understands how bring silliness to the extreme and yet make it all look oh-so-cool, and that in turn is what makes this film distinctive from the rest. Stylized hard-core action now has a new face, and quoting ‘Borat’ the most famous Kazakhstan person I know, “I like”. Yes in deed.

This film contains no plot complexities ala “The Matrix” or has such opera such as “Blade Runner” as this film’s story is as simple as any film can get. It is at times tedious and often generic, with stereotypical characters filling up the plot holes just to keep the movie moving to the next action sequence. I’m not going into the details of the plot as usual, but for optimum enjoyment of this film, just go into the cinema with your brain left totally locked in your home and simply sit back and enjoy the visual eye candy (and for velvet flashes of Jolie’s flesh. For the female audiences, Scottish hunk James McAvoy does bare his chest intentionally throughout the film. So, flesh fetish happiness for everyone. Yay!!!).

Speaking of James McAvoy, this is in fact his first foray at being an action hero and I must say he does a pretty good job at it (being a hero with some resemblance to brains). His best work were all dramatic roles which resulted in some pretty good appreciation from film critics such as the wrongly-accused lover in “Atonement” and the naive doctor in “The Last King of Scotland”. Obviously his role in “Wanted” do not provide him the palette to flex his acting abilities, he however gives his character a genuine sense of realism that provides the audience something to relate with. And that makes him reasonably likable, which is important as he will take you on a journey from one end of the character’s spectrum to another. Just watch and you will have what I’m talking about.

Angelina Jolie impresses as usual (hey, it’s Jolie. How can you possibly go wrong with her?) and you can see she is obviously having fun with her role as the uber-assassin Fox. At times she may be just that typical sexy cardboard box character that is plastered on screen just for kicks, but she ignites things up with perfectly timed smirks and winks that will make you smirk in turn. And THAT for me is a mark of a true action heroine.

As for Morgan Freeman, I’m honestly bored to death of him playing the usual ‘boss/mentor’ character with all that deep-toned speeches and smarty lines. Even though at one point in the film he NEARLY stole the entire show (NEARLY) with a very rare but impressive quip of a bad word, Freeman however a waste of a fine actor in my book and should get a better movie agent pronto, otherwise he will forever be stagnant in a quagmire of stereotypical characters for life. And that will be very sad for a fine actor like him.

All in all, this film was made not to impress the critical masses, but to simply provide a collage of visual/audio/action/flesh combo to kick any action-loving viewer’s balls to bits. Eccentric, outlandish and defying all laws whatsoever, this film comes closes to ‘action porn’ than any movie I have ever seen (note: porn as in NOT the typical Pamela Anderson porn, but action played to the extreme just like porn).

Almost worth a second-viewing in my opinion, if not for the fast action I missed but maybe just to see Angelina Jolie fellate a gun barrel for almost 2 hours. Now THAT is almost worth the price of the second admission….

Verdict: 7/10

Reviewed by: Raymond Choy

Chaos At The Pumps...AGAIN!!!

It was chaos at the pumps again!!! WTFFFFFFFF!!! Causing so much traffic jam!!! Can’t get home fast enough to watch my latest episodes of ‘Smallville’ on my com!!! Petrol prices increased again?? Actually no, there was this wild rumor flying all over by SMS yesterday that petrol stations will be closed for 3 to 5 days to protest their non-increment in commissions. So we typical Malaysians panicked (as usual) and OOooopps, did it all over again. I’m not sure if KL were affected by this madness but here in Labuan and other major parts of East Malaysia, there was petrol-panic all over. My friend even went to the pumps on a motorbike and filled up 2 plastic bottles with petrol (is this even legal??!!) I wish sometimes everyone would just calm down and think first before panicking and not to cause other Malaysians like me to miss their favorite TV shows. GEEEEEEEEZZZZ PEOPLE!!!!!!

But in actually, the rumors were indeed quite true. I saw a quote from Charles Soong, the president of Sabah Petroleum Dealers Association on NST’s website that read:

“The national association is asking the government to meet a few more requirements, including raising our commissions to an acceptable level and if that demand is not met, we plan not to sell fuel for eight hours tomorrow.”

8 hours can easily turn into a few days can’t it? So that’s why people panicked. Sighhhhhhh. I thought life was about love, money and all that. Petrol is part of it too. How romantic.

I guess I’ll just stay at home and blog about what happened to me in KL last weekend hehehe…..

Harvest Festival '08 @ Kota Kinabalu, Sabah

From 30th to 31st May, I was in Kota Kinabalu to witness the much celebrated festival of harvest called ‘Tadau Ka’amatan’. It was a cultural baptism of unique dances, exotic foods, wicked rice wines and quaint games during 3 days and 2 nights in the heart Sabah’s capital, Kota Kinabalu, where the ‘Harvest Festival’ or the ‘Tadau Ka’amatan’ was celebrated as gloriously as any major festivals we come to revere. When you are in Borneo, no major festivals come close to the ‘Tadau Ka’amatan’. Christmas, New Year’s Eve, & even the Merdeka celebrations all pale in comparison to the significance and distinctiveness of this festival of harvest, whereby Sabahans celebrate the ‘Harvest Festival’ or sometimes called the ‘Kadazan Harvest Festival’ (simply because the Kadazans forms the biggest indigenous tribe group in Borneo), to collectively worship the ancient Gods.

Interestingly, as told by a local friend of mine in Kota Kinabalu, the Gods consist of 5 main spirits: the ‘Rogon’ or the spirit of all things evil, the ‘Koududuvo’ or the spirit of the living, then there is the ghostly spirit which is called the ‘Tombivo’, the ‘Rusad’ that represent the spirit of all living things and the focal of it all is the ‘Kinoingan’ which symbolizes the God of Creation and the Almighty.

So what role does these Gods have play in the festival of harvest? Well, the story that I heard on the street (ha, macam sound so local like dat) is that the God of Creation, the ‘Kinoingan’ is the revered overall creator and all-supreme life source for all things living. As most native Sabahans consider rice as the main staple of food, certain sacredness and spirituality is attached to it as they believe that food, in particular rice, is blessed to them by the ‘Kinoingan’. Now the most interesting part is this: the ‘Kinoingan’ always believed He being the all-almighty Creator, His people should never be left to suffer of any lack in the most basic need, which is food. However, then came a time when food was indeed scarce due to severe drought. As an act of ultimate benevolence to His people, He sacrificed his only pure and holy daughter, ‘Huminodun’ to the fields where rice grew (forgoing an offspring, especially one that is pure, is considered the ultimate sacrifice). Magnificently, his act of kindness yielded results and from the body of ‘Huminodun’ out grew rice of great abundance, thus the people were left to hunger no more. This act of absolute kindness was ultimately worshiped, and even to this day, His people repay the deed by performing various acts of ceremonies to honor ‘Kinoingan’, hence the ‘Harvest Festival’ (but others believe that Sabahans pay homage to the Rice Spirit called the ‘Bambazon’ as an act of gratitude for their annual bountiful harvest. Whichever the actual story may be, its all for a good cause lah).

So it is during this festival that Sabahans don their proudest costumes and enjoy a carnival of dances, food, and worship while mingling with folks from all walks of life, be it the local or foreign. Celebrations are held in virtually all villages and districts throughout Sabah, but to bring the festivities closer to the hearts of the general public, an annual ceremony is held at Hongkod Koisaan or KDCA Penanpang (a non-political association of nearly 30 indigenous ethnic communities of Sabah), and this is where my soul was exposed to the melting pot of various tribes and their cultures. It was a congregation of traditions, merry-making and feasting of the most unique food accompanied by rice wine (and lots of Tiger beer, a sign of modernization creeping in?) throughout the event. Traditional-styled huts where erected all over the giant premises of the KDCA, and within each of these huts lay a showcase of each of the tribes. Photos of past glories were pastured all across the walls, offerings of tribal delicacies rested welcomingly on tables and friendly indigenous folks greeted the guests with multi-colored costumes and affectionate hospitality. Hut after hut I went, and more and more exceptional traditions lay before my eyes, and I absorbed them with feverish interest. It was a baptism of culture, and what a baptism it was. The skies threw rain at the numerous guests (probably a test of some kind?) but everyone stood firm, not budging from their place with gleaming smiles remaining on their faces. From this reaction to the rain you know that the Festival is indeed in full glorious swing…

I heard from my local friend that every year the ceremony had a theme. Last year, it was what my friend described it as “cute”. I guess they had many adorable children wearing traditional costumes hopping all over the place? Well, we were trying to guess what this year’s theme was, and my bet was on ladies. To be more precise, pretty ladies. Not the sassy and seductively-dressed ones, but I mean pretty in their own distinctive way. See for yourself:

Isn't she lovely? Looks Chinese abit...

Ahhh, this ones looks for exotic doesn't she? Ain't she lovely...

Time for me to get up close and personal with one of them ~~~

This time I got two by my side. Hey, I'm just absorbing the culture that's on offer!!!

Back to the theme of the event, my friend rubbished my opinion of pretty ladies of the theme for this year and said that it was instead a parade of beautiful hats. I pish-poshed his suggestion and went along with pretty girls theme. I mean, what’s wrong with pretty girls? I was happily snapping away with my camera, and then my friend suggested that if pretty tribal girls (sounds so sexy doesn’t it???) are my cup tea, we should head off to the main hall where the ‘Unduk Ngadau’ was held. What is the ‘Unduk Ngadau’ you ask? Well, paraphrasing the modern world, it is basically a beauty pageant. Usually it is the highlight or simply the most popular event during the Harvest Festival, it is a pageant to identify the darling of the Festival, to find the crowning brilliance in beauty and brains, and to find the Queen of the Harvest Festival. Even contestants from Peninsular Malaysia are allowed to participate (which I think is wrong!! It just spoils the unique flavor of the pageant!!!). As a reward for being crowned the Queen of Traditions (which is what I like to call them. Okla, they are actually the Ratu Ka’amatan), the grand winner are given a cash prize and hampers, but the most rewarding of all is that they are given a scholarship to complete a diploma locally. Not bad eh? I should have participated when I was about to enter college. Oh wait that’s just wrong…

Other attractions litter the compound of the KDCA, such as a stage erected for various performances of dances, music and the like. Stalls selling souvenirs, refreshments and paraphernalia scour the rest of the area, filling up valuable space to the brim. At one glance and you would think that the vicinity of the KDCA is endless with a sea of people bustling all over like ants over a sugar jar. It was a massive event, and the support for it was just as enormous.

It was nearing the end of daylight and yet I’ve not seen all that was on offer. The stalls were calling it a day and the festivities were slowly loosing its haste. I too, was to call it a day and I duly departed the compound with a bag full of memories and a gem of a contented feeling. The bus back was full, it was shoulder to shoulder with people and the air was stale with hues of smoke and perspired humidness. But it did not matter, for all that is worth, I absorbed it all and will become a priceless speck in my mind as an experience that will be cherish for some time to come.

Buuuuuuuuut, the festivities did not end. No no no, The ceremonies will not cease and as promised, it did continue well into the night. At the ‘Padang Merdeka’ in the heart of the Kota Kinabalu town, an ‘open house’ for the general public was vibrating with celebration. The ‘house’ in mention was in fact an entire field the size of many football fields. The scene was very welcoming, hence we pierced the gathered crowd to see what was on offer. And it did not disappoint, with rows after rows of generous food was put forward for anyone to taste its delicacy and uniqueness. Lines of people queued up to accept this offer, from curious foreigners (like me, I think I’m considered one haha) to the celebrating locals (hey free food!!).

Symbolic huts were erected to house the many playing bands that lashed out their traditional music and dance, which added much delight and tribal vibe to the atmosphere. But the main attraction was at the center of the field, where an enormous stage was built to give way for performances of tribal plays, music and dance that is fit for a king. A ‘king’ was indeed in attendance as our dear Prime Minister, Pak Lah was revering in the atmosphere and celebrations, and with him his entourage of VIPs. Entertaining the royalties was performances that are truly mesmerizing, as no words can really put justice to the feeling. As such, it is best to see it for yourself:

Video to be Up-loaded Later...Sorry Folks!!!

Showpieces of this sort gyrated the audiences until midnight, from traditional performers to more current singers (such as folks from ‘Akademi Fantasia’) showcased their culture and ability to flawless excellence. As the hordes of gathered people slowly vanished from the field and back to where they came, I too snaked away from arena with no regrets whatsoever. Two huge events in one day was a lot to absorb in one day, but I absorbed it with feverish contentment. I’m starting to like Kota Kinabalu very, very much indeed…

For a little bit more photos from these events, you can click here!!!

Back In KL from 20th June to 22nd June...

Just a short shout-out to anyone that is bothered about it: I'll be back in KL for a vey VERY short break from the 20th June until......22nd June. Yup, told you its short. Hopefully to see all you KL peeps in time. Catch y'all then!!!

Arrival KL: Friday, 20th June.
Depart KL: Sunday, 22nd June.

So I'm expecting my B'day prezzies from ALL OF YOU!!! BE PREPARED OR FACE THE CONSEQUENCES!!!! ROOOOAAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!