Review: Transformer 2

The movie that almost everyone is looking out for this year, 'Transformers 2: The Revenge of the Fallen' arrived on Malaysian shores with tremendous euphoric greeting of Michael Bay’s (and Megan Fox’s) latest summer popcorn smash (GSC’s online booking website almost crashed from excessive demand!!). Transformers 2 was hoped to live through a life of a better sequel, i.e. Terminator 2, Aliens, Godfather 2, The Dark Knight) whereby the sequel was arguably a better version of the original. But alas, you may put some money on James Cameron or Christopher Nolan to deliver such a promise, but never Michael Bay. Free from the supervision and shackles of Steven Spielberg’s guiding hand in the first Transformers movie, this time around Michael Bay is let loose, and what a loose-cannon he is, and his unrestrained bayhem was unfortunately personified on screen for all to see.

No doubt bigger in every way (except where it is needed, i.e. the script), this film represents Michael Bay at his most undisciplined and ridiculous. Any reason and logic that can be associated to any fleeting likeness to a plot or script is thrown out the window with an adredelin-induced kick. Whatever words or sentences muttered by the actors serves no main reason whatsoever except to move from one big action scene to another, and in instances when there’s no action scenes, the words are simply fillers to entertain the viewers with mainly childish humor that would mainly perk the pre-teens and grown men that suffers from a serious case of 80’s nostalgia.


But almost everyone would have expected nothing less from Michael Bay, he is after all, Michael Bay, the great action conductor that brought us memorable popcorn fun in movies like Armageddon, Bad Boys I & II, The Rock, and of course the original Transformers. With Michael Bay, action is what he is all about and action he doesn’t fail to bring us with a big, loud bang. Armed with almost USD200 million of a war chest, he spends them without a care in the world and the special effects are certainly a USD200 million visual feast of a joyride for all to see. With more robots, bigger action sequences, more explosions and definitely more Megan Fox (I just have to throw that in), Transformers 2 is unquestionably an action opus that would make any action and robo junkie’s wet dream.

But speaking of action sequences, in general Transformers 2 suffers from an over-ambitious intent that leaves the overall movie composition feel like a one big expensive mess, in particular the last hour where it’s set in a Middle-Eastern desert. With almost an entire hour devoted to this piece of action scene, it becomes one long drawn out and untidy desert fight scene that has characters running amok from explosions igniting from anything that can be exploded, robots appearing and disappearing just as quickly from nowhere and the heavy participation of the military that made the movie feel like a half-commercial for the army, it all drags on and tires out, leaving any feeling of excitement sucked completely dry and what is left is a mindless and soulless MTV video clip glorifying Michael Bay’s crack-induced action flair (and Megan Fox running in all different manners possible in slow-mo).


A novelty of the first Transformers movie was the design of the robots, but in this sequel it has become a chore to watch. With the Decepticons’ similar chrome coloring and spiky designs, it all becomes somewhat confusing, especially in the desert action scene. With Michael Bay’s usual hyper-editing and extreme close-ups, it is often someone would confuse Megatron with Starscream, Scoponok with Soundwave and so on. When the action is on hyper mode, one would need to take a moment or two to recognize a specific robot or whether that robot is good or evil, but by that time when this realization is complete, one would already have missed a significant chunk of the action as the quick-fire editing moves things along at hyperspeed. Due to this, it is best to just not bother and simply watch the action. The result of this is that all the action becomes cold with no connection between the viewer and what is on screen whatsoever, and this contributes to the overwhelming disorganization and disorientation on screen.

Coming off best from this carnage is the comedic roles played by the side actors such as Ramon Rodriguez as Shia’s roommate as the web crazy oddball with a senseless energy. Kevin Dunn and Julie White as Shia’s parents almost stole the show with their comedic slack, especially during the scene when Shia was just checking into his new college. John Turturro returns and continuing what he did best in the first movie, and virtually saves the second half of Transformers 2 from over-induced action and tediousness, he picks up the comedic slack amidst all the sand-blasting and metal-clanging carnage by helping to leave a smile or two on our already sensory-overloaded faces.

Besides the robots, Megan Fox is certainly the next in line for the reason why hordes of boys are lining up at box-office for this movie. With the help of Michael Bay’s MTV flair for bringing out the best curves humanly possible from Megan, she simply remains as the sole person in the world at the moment to ooze testosterone –filled charm without uttering a single word. With that however, is how far Megan can go at present because besides her perfection in displaying her curves and looking so hot in slow-mo not seen since Pam Anderson in Baywatch, her acting abilities still has some way to go. She already seduced the masses with her good looks and now all she needs is a few good acting performances for her to be propelled to real super-stardom and not fall into the void of “all looks and no brains” category of an actress.

The bottom line is, as a mindless summer popcorn movie Transformers 2 will provide all the thrills but not the satisfaction associated with the first Transformers movie. The first Transformers movie enjoyed the novelty of a CGI spectacle not seen since Jurassic Park with the dinosaurs, or the Lord of the Rings with the fantastic creatures and battle scenes. But with Transformers 2, the novelty wears off, and it wore of thin and fast. As the movie moved along, the action becomes repetitive, the jokes became corny and the story is just non-existent, with the viewer simply waiting for the ‘next thing big’ to happen, but it never did. For all Michael Bay had achieved in the first Transformers movie, the sequel sadly falls into the category of “should have been much better” and it should really could have been much more better. Michael Bay made a mess of this movie, he was out of control and hopefully he knows it.

Reviewed by: Raymond Choy

Verdict: 7 / 10

Salvation Denied

Watched 'Terminator Salvation' already?

Bottomline: much better than Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines but still not as good as Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

I think people will like this film depending on what they are looking for. If you came for the action sequences to match any Michael Bay or Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, then this movie is right up your alley. It’s an action-vaganza of giant Terminators-that-shoots-out-smaller-Terminators smashing and exploding things all over the place, aerial dogfights ala Independence Day (Will Smith’s F-18 Hornet with an alien jet engaging each other in a canyon), bullets flying left and right and any direction physically possible, it’s all here in this 2 hour plus teenage fanboy’s greatest celluloid wet dream.

Unfortunately, if you came for fresh insight into the already-oh-so-tiring John Connor saviour-of-the-world and how he morphed from typical teenage John Connor to motherfucker radio-screaming-“WE ARE ALL DEAD!!!” John Connor, then be prepared to be disappointed. No new revelations are offered for this already exhausting story arc, as the only conclusion I can make to how he became the way he is, is a logic-defying loop where he just became a motherfucking John Connor. The actual story here is mainly on Marcus Wright, played with convincing badass-dry by Sam Worthington, and his journey of defying what it means to be a “man” out of a machine (you’ll know what I’m talking about when you watch this movie).

As for my opinion, the trailers kicked-ass, the momentum of excitement was all there leading to the launch of the movie, the premise of a post-Judgment Day movie was promising. But in the end, it just did not meet expectations. Maybe my expectations were too high, or the benchmark set my James Cameron in the previous Terminators was too monumental. But whatever the reason, the first two Terminator films remain as the un-paralleled classics and thus far, we still remain in wait for a Terminator movie to match the originals.

Nice try, but no cigar McG…

Reviewed by: Raymond Choy

Verdict: 7 / 10

More Angelic Than Demonic This Time Around

In my opinion, the first movie adaptation of Dan Brown’s super-duper successful line of books, ‘The Da Vinci Code’ was markedly average at best that leaved quite a sour taste in the mouth. It had nothing to shout about unlike the euphoria that the book has created. Armed with a very bad haircut, Tom Hanks was at his worst and the directional effort from Ron Howard was bland which left much to be desired.

Cometh Take 2, ‘Angels & Demons’ was their opportunity for redemption to make things right. And made things right they eventually did. ‘Angels & Demons’ in celluloid form was a markedly big improvement from ‘The Da Vinci Code’ in everyway (even Hank’s haircut). More dashing, thought-provoking and exhilarating this time around, this is how Dan Brown’s books were meant to be. ‘Angels & Demons’ is vastly more improved than their latter movie effort which was a ponderous offering albeit more famous of the two books.

Although still hampered by Dan Brown’s stocky characters and heavy facts in the books, screen-writers Akiva Goldsman and David Koepp thankfully did not go word-for-word in their adaptation and the result is many scenes were cut or minimized, such as the involvement from CERN, the character of Maximilian Kohler, and the somewhat ludicrous supersonic jet that flew Robert to his desired destinations were eliminated. As a result, more important and interesting matters came into play, such as the jurisdictional issues of policing the Vatican which is more fitting for the limited time-frame of the film.

With that in perspective, the characterization of its main players, Robert Langdon and Vittoria, get little, if no emphasis at all. They all seem like talking cardboards with just a sole purpose to move the plot along. They are not explored at the very least unlike the book, which greatly undermines their true potential individually and was the only letdown of this film adaptation.

Aiming to entertain instead of provoking any huge arguments whatsoever, this adaptation creates a skillfully executed Hollywood adaptation that contains qualities that pushes it slightly above average blockbuster fare. I guess lessons have been learnt from the past, and the result is definitely more polished, more energetic and more satisfying product as a whole.

Reviewed by: Raymond Choy

Verdict: 8 / 10

Review: Star Trek

Finally watched ‘Star Trek’ over the weekend and all doubts on this franchise re-boot is beamed out of the window as J.J. Abrams delivered with aplomb a more adrenalin-fueled voyage of the classic ‘Star Trek’ series while successfully re-introducing a fresh sense of wonder and bewilderment not experienced in the previous 'Star Trek' films over the many years. Dare I say it, this J.J. Abrams version boldly went to no 'Star Trek' film has gone before.

Many would think that this would be the dumbed-down version of 'Star Trek' to satisfy the tastebuds of the commercial masses, but I must defer. Yes, the weight is indeed shifted from sci-fi hardcore to a more light-weight version with a little sprinkle of steroids, but right now with J.J. Abrams version, there is finally a balance between the two. Hardcore trekkies will obviously despise the departure from the deeper themes of scientific exploration to a more suspense-filled sensory joyride, but I believe the film retains enough of the original Gene Roddenberry’s influence and yet successfully pumped-up the volume to create a more satisfactory end-product as a whole.

Armed with cash as big as any Vulcan rock, it is satisfying to see that the cash is used to optimum effect. The production designs are superb with ships so detailed it tingles the fascination to imagine if such a universe would eventually exist – and that this film is just a sneak peak into what our future would be. The space battles oozes with sublime special effects that would put any ‘Star Wars’ films to shame as it is the most convincingly real ever to be put into celluloid form. The sound design too is also truly extraordinary, for instance in a few sequences the use of sound – in this case the non-use of it - to convey the noiseless vacuum of space is skillfully manipulated and adds a priceless sense of distinction to the film.

But ‘Star Trek’ is not all about the technicality of the movie-making, but also about the characters that fill each of the seats on the deck of the U.S.S. Enterprise. The young actors that were called on to convey the classic characters of much-loved individuals like James T. Kirk, Spock and all are obviously daunting. But to their credit, their performances were credible. Chris Pine came off best as James T. Kirk, although being way too serious at times that made him lack that winking feeling (which may change as the origins story moves along). Zach Quinto delivers an OK performance as Spock, although I just can’t help but to see him as Sylar with a funny haircut and mutated pointy ears. There’s one scene where Spock uses his powers to make someone unconscious with his hands, and that just screams SYLAR.

The rest is Karl Urban as Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy, and at times he is uncanny with his mannerisms and dialogue, while the others like Anton Yelchin provides some light humor (and accent) as Chekov, John Cho as Sulu providing some “fencing” relief and Saldana as Uhura portraying the strong but dynamic love interest in the film. And if you have not heard it yet by now, Leonard Nimoy (yes, the original Mr. Spock) makes numerous appearances, and he is just as stellar as always. Although limited in his role, just to hear him speak simply makes his performance wonderful. And yes, he did display the iconic Vulcan salute and utter the infamous words of “live long and prosper”, so thus serious Trekkies will no doubt shed a tear or two.

All in all, ‘Star Trek’ is finally fun again and depending on any fan’s view whether this is good or bad, J.J. Abrams did however successfully managed to re-position this franchise into a whole new light, and revived this fading series that will set warp speed at the maximum to a successful future ahead. J.J. Abrams re-boot is a fitting beginning to a bold new destination that no ‘Star Trek’ has gone before, and by the end of this film when the crew is finally together and finally settled in their original positions on deck, one can’t help but to feel that the familiar universe once so loved now feels so wide open and new. One just can’t help but to feel excited to go on another voyage, to go on another Trek, and I’m sure this is a feeling many Trekkies haven’t felt for a long time. And hence, live long and prosper.


Reviewed by: Raymond Choy

Verdict: 9/10

Decepticons, ROLL-OUT!!!

The final official posters for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen hits. Lovely, lovely. Just can't WAAAAIITTTT.......

The Fast & Furious Incident

Just arrived Labuan yesterday and the hustle and bustle of work re-starts once again. Sigh. How upsetting. But luckily the weekend in KL was a pretty good trip. Relaxing and enjoying. Tell you about it later. Saw 2 movies over the weekend in KL, the ‘Shinjuku Incident’ and ‘Fast & Furious’. How was it? Weeeeeeeell…here’s a quickie on the movies:

‘The Shinjuku Incident’

Bottom-line: Just so-so. Nothing outstanding. If you didn’t know it already, this is not a typical Jackie Chan action flick. It’s a drama. So no flying kicks and dragon pushes. Just plain acting from Jackie. And the acting from him is…bad. Sorry Jackie fans but this latest effort from him just didn’t cut it for me. Monotonous acting right from the start, I still think Jackie should stick back to what he does best: kicking ass. Ok, so he is not young anymore. But so what? Clint Eastwood is as old as the Himalayas but he still looks cool and wiping badness off its feet in ‘Gran Torino’. I would love to see Jackie direct a Hong Kong movie, go back to his roots and rejuvenate Hong Kong cinema once more. It’s time to pass on that cinema magic to someone else, Jackie!! But back to Shinjuku, it’s nothing we have not seen before. The way they operate as gangs and their modus operandi etc etc etc are all ‘been there, done that’ kinda feel. Story, normal. Acting, normal. Action, normal. All this make me feel short-changed. I’ll just download this if I were you.

Verdict: 5/10


‘Fast & Furious’

It started off really good. The opening sequence was very Vin Diesel (and very typical of ‘The Fast and the Furious’ cool). But it lamed off in the end. Ran out of gas (and ideas) in the end perhaps. This was supposed to be the grand re-introduction of Vin Diesel back to the action genre (he will be re-appearing in action flicks that made him the badass he is today, next up will be the sequel to ‘The Chronicles of Riddick’). But he too lamed off as the movie progressed as there was not enough one-liners to keep him in the cool and not enough slick moves. I actually expected abit more from Vin Diesel. Overall, the action is indeed fast and furious, plenty of car chases and most importantly, it has well directed car chases. In truth, crashed cars never looked so good. The director, Justin Lin (a Taiwanese director, born in Orange County California and popular for his film ‘Better Luck Tomorrow’) did a better job this time around compared to his ‘F&F: Tokyo Drift’ debut. I know some may disagree that Tokyo Drift might be better, but I think this time around the action is more intense, more well-edited and more complete as an action movie. And yeah, Vin Diesel and Paul Walker is reunited once more, but…I don’t think there’s any chemistry between them whatsoever, and Paul is as ‘kayu’ as ever. This movie is worth a watch but shame about the ending, it could have been much better.

Verdict: 7/10

Of Food & the Sri Supremas...

KL Weekend Break of 7th November - 9th November 2008.

Last weekend I went back to KL for my regular monthly trip (haven’t gone back for more than a month already) and it’s sooooo good to experience KL life again. The trip was only 3 days (only 3 days L sad sad sad, all because of work work work. I’ll have my revenge Mr. Bossssssssss!!!) but as usual it was an exhausting 3 days full of makan-makan, movies, football, yamca, shopping and abit of a Karaoke session thrown in for good measure. Yup, not bad a schedule for 3 days.

On the first day, I managed to meet up with D for lunch at 1U’s ‘Delicious’. We whiled away the time updating each other like yapping ladies about what’s happening to who, where and how. So much so it was nearly dinner time after we finished & later I got a date with SL as well as a certain Mr. Bond at KLCC. Drove from Damansara to KLCC (luckily no jam PHEWWW) and just after parking in Avenue K (it’s easier there and a lot cheaper parking than KLCC) SL called. It was almost dinner time and we headed to an old eating joint of ours called ‘Bongsen’. It offers Vietnamese-French infused cuisine, but after eating at that place a few times, I don’t see the French influence anywhere. Maybe I’m French-dumb but to me it’s all Vietnamese food. Blimey. But the highlight of the day was really our date with Mr. Bond. SL bought the ‘Quantum of Solace’ tickets days ago and we had the best seat in the house, right smack in the center of a THX cinema. Lovely. So was the movie any good? Read my full review below this blog, but to sum it up, it’s not as good as ‘Casino Royale’. It’s still ok, but not great…

The next day, it was THE big day. No, I’m not getting married. It was Arsenal Vs. Manchester United. Yes, I’m a footie fan and the Red Devils are my team. The Devils are finally shifting nicely into gear with a few wins lately, while Arsenal was still living in a world of disillusionment that they can still win the league with a bunch of kids. And after suffering a defeat at lowly Stoke just prior to this big match, they were ripe for a devilish picking. I heard that ‘Tiger FC’ was having those huge outdoor events whereby they show the match ‘live’ on a gigantic screen, and this time it was at Sunway Pyramid’s ‘Bar Republic’. I just have to go. Called up TK and we got a front row seat and ordered some beer. The place was filled to the brim with footie fans. The stage was set. My adredeline was pumping. The match began. It was being played at a frantic pace. Both teams were going for it. It was perfect, both teams created chances to score. Until Arsenal scored. And scored again. And Man United never scored back. F**K. It ended Man Utd losing 2-0 to FC Kindergarten. Double the F**K. I didn’t even finish the beer. That’s coz I felt like having something stronger. A double shot of pure Vodka perhaps. That will do for a start…

On the third day, I had to release some of the disappointment away. I had to let it all out. I wanted to SCREAM. So what perfect way to scream than Karaoke? From noon until late evenings, it was Happy Hour at ‘Red Box’ Karaoke, meaning it was only RM25 per person, inclusive of 1 drink and 1 meal, or you can substitute the meal for another drink. But don’t be fooled. The tidbits are COMPULSORY. The tidbits, consisting of some prawn crackers and kacang putih that could easily cots RM1 at a nearby mamak store, charges people RM8 each. And they will give you 3 packets the size of your palm for your ‘total enjoyment’. Don’t be shocked as this gimmick as it is not new and not exclusive to ‘Red Box’. This gimmick is rampant in the karaoke industry, and we the customer will just have to live with it. Me, TK, Maj, AN and SL paid a total of RM35 each for a 5 hour session of speaker shattering and ear piercing live performances. For me, everyone was OK EXCEPT for Uncle. Not only does his singing do not follow the timing of the lyrics, but his antics in the darkened room is…peculiar, at best. And somehow, I got dragged into his peculiar behavior too. Damn you Maj, damn you. I was innocent. I got framed, I told youuuu, fraaammmmeeddddd……

he Speggeti Cabonara @ Delicious, 1U: Not the best Cabonara around, but still satisfactory nonetheless. It could be more creamier though. But I like things creamy...juicy...yummy...

The Speggetti Mushroom Mascarpone @ Delicious, 1U: I feel that this is one of their signature dishes. It looks simple, but once bitten, its bursting with aroma. You can't go wrong with this one. Other main dishes I tried that I found to be good are the Duck Confetti, Marsala Lambshank, Mascarpone Pesto Chicken & the Chargrilled Grain Fed Sirloin Steak. It's delicious at 'Delicious'. Honestly!!

The Black Forest Dessert Served In A Glass @ Delicious, 1U: The desserts here are just yummilious. Some people go to 'Starbucks' or 'Coffee Bean' for chitchat sessions, I go to 'Delicious' and order some desserts and I can chat for the whole day. People go shopping, but I stay at 'Delicious' for desserts. People run for safety in case of emergencies, I stay at 'Delicious' for desserts. Application for permanent address at 'Delicious' in the process.

Prawn Rice Paper Roll Appetizer @ Bongsen, KLCC: They are having a promotion now (or is it been running for ages already? I'm not sure) whereby for RM28 per person, it will include an appetizer, main dish and drink. It's quite worth it as the choices are many and the dishes provided are kinda exotic. Don't know what to order at 'Bongsen'? Just simply whack this set lah.

'Pho' Beef @ Bongsen, KLCC: I think this is every Vietnamese cuisine's signature dish. As for the name, 'pho' basically means noodles in Vietnamese. But depending on your level of English, some people pronounce it as 'Foo', but for me, I call it 'Poo'. 'Coz it got balls of stuff floating in a bowl of brownish water...Ooh Nevermind...


Having A Blast! @ Bongsen, KLCC: This dish is really called 'Having a Blast!'. We were feeling peckish so we ordered some stuff from the snacks menu, and decided on 'Having A Blast'. Why? Simply because of the name. What's so blasty what this dish? Absolutely nothing haha. It's just all fried stuff. The serving looks alot doesn't it? Actually, on the menu it said RM14 for this dish, and after seeing the serving, I thought DAMN, it looks blardy worth it. But when the bill came, they charged us TWICE, meaning its for TWO PERSONS. RM28 for this? Abit hard to swallow. Having a Blast indeed...

Having a Blast! @ Bongsen, KLCC: If you like fried onion rings, you are gonna love this dish. Perfect for being peckish, but not so perfect during dates with your loved ones. Close proximity with a tender loved one is a strict no-no, unless your loved one got a thing for onion breath...

The 'Tiger FC' Big Away Game at Repulic Bar, Sunway Pyramid: Huge fans of Arse-anal & Man Utd gathered outside of the Republic Bar for one of the biggest matches in English Football so far. I LOVE to watch football matches in such environments. The screaming crowd just gives that extra ‘uummpphh’ in excitement during a match. The ‘OOoooHHh’s and ‘AAaaHHHhhhhhh’s are something that no one can feel at home except in an open environment like this one….

…but when the opposition side scores against my team, sometimes I wish the ground would open up and swallow me in it. The Arse-anal fans go ballistic here when they score the 2nd goal to win the match 2-0. Cheh. You guys were lucky. Okaylah, you guys played well. But we simply let you win it to make the League more competitive mah right, Man Utd fansss?? Hmmpphh…

The 'Tiger FC' Big Away Game @ Republic Bar, Sunway Pyramid: Jien and Selena C (from Mix FM) was there to pump up the crowd. The games that they played? Pick people from the crowd and ask them to take their shirts off. Seriouslyy!!! Just see beloww...

The ‘Tiger FC’ Big Away Game @ Republic Bar, Sunway Pyamid: This poor kid had to take his shirt off so that he can get some cheapo jersey in return. As though that's not enough, Serena C was making fun of his body by asking why there's so little 'bulu' on him. And that's in front of so many people. PAISEHHHH!!!! If that's me, I'll return the cheapo jersey to them and retain by pride thank you...See how happy is Jien on the left there? I wonder why he is so happy leh...?

The ‘Tiger FC’ Big Away Game @ Republic Bar, Sunway Pyamid: Oh, and some lucky fan won a signed Arse-anal jersey or something. If I've won that thing I'll use it to wipe the toilet bowl that I use which doesn't really flushes properly sometimes. Oh wait, I already done that to a Chelsea jersey. My bad.

The ‘Tiger FC’ Big Away Game @ Republic Bar, Sunway Pyamid: If only I can drown my dissappointment with this bad-ass bottle of badness.

Karaoke @ Red Box, Pyramid: Warming up for our World Tour. See the guy on my right, he is so happy about it until it got him giggling like a little school girl.

Karaoke @ Reb Box, Pyramid: It's all fun and games here at Red Box. Whichever ladies that dares to grab this mic from TK's...er, groin area wins a non-stop 2 hour session with this groin-ster himself. Whatever you wanna do within that 2 hours is entirely up to you. Lovely.

Karaoke @ Reb Box, Pyramid: The fun and games continues. Whoever dares to sing to my mic here wins the actual real thing. Yeah baby. TK shows a disturbing sign of great interest. Curb your enthusiasm there fella.

Karaoke @ Reb Box, Pyramid: After much persuasion, 'The Sri Supremas' finally performs live to an audience of...two. From left to right are Uncle TFK (from the TK fame), Ray-Ray Choybecca & the Maj Mahal.

Karaoke @ Red Box, Pyramid: So much soul, so much spunk, a great show can be virtually guaranteed. For immediate bookings, kindly call our Manager Uncle TFK at 019-6969696. Thank you.

Yamca @ Old Taste Kopitiam, SS15: Our 'Sri Supremas' financial controller shows to our manager our earnings for the past month: RM10 bucks. "That's not enough to even buy ONE hair extension!!!" Our future is doomed before it even began.

Yamca @ Old Taste, SS15: Disgrunted, our Manager TFK ponders our next big hit: "If Christina Aguilera can make a hit out of a genie in a bottle, I can make a hit from kopi in a cup!!" Truly inspirational, he gathers his great ideas from anywhere and everywhere. But I'll be pondering: "God help us all".

That's it for my short KL trip last week. Until next time friends and family!!!! THE SRI SUPREMAs ROXXXXXs!!!

Review: Quantum of Solace

We Malaysians are a privileged lot. No, it got nothing to do with the decreasing petrol prices, but we Malaysians got to witness the latest Bond adventure a full whole week in advance compared to the Americans. See, they are not really Umero Uno in everything. In a twist of marketing fate, we get to witness the highly anticipated follow-up to the excellent ‘Casino Royale’, in my most humble opinion was one the greatest, if not THE greatest, James Bond film that ever graced my lifetime. ‘Quantum of Solace’ promises so much more of the sophistication and elegance from the first installment in this quantum of Bond cinematic rebirths. I was so hoping this follow-up was better, if not at par, to its predecessor.

‘Quantum of Solace’ being the only true sequel ever to be produced in the history of all Bond films, it continues directly from the conclusion of ‘Casino Royale’. In a sweeping opening sequence of a car chase set in the exceptionally beautiful Siena, Bond escapes from the clutches of his enemies in his latest edition of the Aston Martin DBS (which they crashed for a complete total of 6 cars while shooting this film. Well done cost cutting) with the nemesis Mr. White locked up in the car. Upon witnessing this opening first 15 minutes of frantic electric action, immediately it is clear that the tone and stylishness that ‘Casino Royale’ played so well with is a thing of the past. In comes new helmer Marc Forster of the ‘Finding Neverland’ fame and his assistants Richard Pearson and Dan Bradley which were involved in the Bourne films, an immediate sensation hits the viewer right smack in the face: it’s Jason Bourne all over again. Rapid-fire editing and in-your-face functionality that just wants to push the movie on to the next action sequence rather than relishing the moments in between is the obvious, if not disappointing, departure from the more traditional Bond motive. The look and tempo is much higher octane as the camera zooms in and out from place to place, shattering the elegance that Martin Campbell, the director of ‘Casino Royale’ built so beautifully in the first installment. Even the music by David Arnold pushes the cadence to a higher state of adreline, making the whole rhythm of the film a wee bit too pulsating to be a Bond film. The Bond Ultimatum anyone?
Much to my disappointment, this disillusionment did not end there. While the action sequences are satisfactory (that is if you like the Bourne film’s style – tightly welded and claustrophobic), in between them are moments that leaves a gapping black hole. Gone are the mischievous one-liner’s that served such a distinctive signature to the character of Bond. Gone also are the charisma that those Bond girls usually provide, but most importantly, gone are the distinctiveness that Ian Fleming’s character provided that distinguished itself so well from the rest of the other action heroes. In ‘Quantum’, Bond seems to have suffered a personality bypass but Daniel Craig still manages to portray the cool Bond character that is always in control (but notably less muscular and less flesh bearing). Stripped of all humor and warmth, Bond is a sulking and dry character this time around (if not more from ‘Casino’) which is a challenge to provide any sort of emotional attachment or care.

But part of this different feel I guess is simply due to the film’s short duration: At 105 minutes, it is the shortest Bond film of all time, four minutes shorter than ‘Dr. No’ and a whopping 45 minutes shorter that its predecessor, ‘Casino Royale’. This diminutive length is immediately evident: hitting just at the 40 minute mark of this film, Bond goes from a car chase scene into an interrogation shoot-up and then efficiently jumps into a roof-top man hunt, this relentless action is crumbling the very foundation that ‘Casino Royale’ tried so hard to build: that he is no Vin Diesel in ‘xXx’, he is Bond, James Bond. The old-school stylishness that Bond revered in ‘Casino Royale’ is thrown out the window, and what is left is the plot of ‘Quantum’ (which I will not reveal, as always). But even the plot is simply rudimentary and cheesy, more in line to the Roger Moore days of Bond in the 70’s and 80’s.

The Bond mis-Identity (HA!) does not end there. Even when we do find Bond and the newest Bond girl Kurylenko (playing the role of Camile) together, there is no spark whatsoever and does not even generate the slightest ignition of onscreen heat. At times I wondered if she had wandered into the wrong movie set, ‘xXx 3’ on Stage 2 perhaps, Kurylenko? There is only a brief glimpse of hope from Gemma Arterton’s extended cameo as a field agent with orders to take Bond home (playing the creatively named ‘Strawberry Fields' – which we get to know her full name only at the end when the credits are rolling - a refreshing throwback rendition of perky Bond women of the 60’s) but surely, is this that is all that can be provided from a distinction like a Bond girl? Whatever happened to the Ursula Andresses, Halle Berrys or even the Eva Greens?
The rest of the characters are played fairly well but not outstanding. Mathieu Amalric portrays the bad guy satisfactorily in this film, a mildly physical proportioned man but with flourishes of evil glistering of hardness in the eyes. We get to see Jeffrey Wright return as CIA agent Felix Leiter, but he holds nothing more than just a bit role in this film. However, Judi Dench gets much more screen time this time around, appearing in most unlikely of places and confronting/engaging Bond in the most of situations. But I think this increase in screen allowance actually demised the quality of the character that is M, who is supposed to be this mysterious individual that is only wants to be seen at the most necessary of times.

All in all, being the shortest of all Bond films but most action-dense with lesser humor, ‘Quantum of Solace’ plays with a cold, mechanical efficiency perfect for a Bourne film, without any emotional hooks to engage the viewer. ‘Quantum’ will find solace in the rapid-fire thrills that is fitting for the action style that is so prominent today, but I honestly think it will not occupy a royal spot in the hearts of any die-hard Bond fans out there. Nor will it garner any new fans either...

And here’s a tip: Refreshing your mind with the events and characters from ‘Casino Royale’ would be a good idea to avoid total confusion in this direct sequel that continues approximately 1 hour after ‘Casino’ ends.

Oh, and do look out for a naked dead woman lying 'artfully' on Bond’s bed. A commendable testimonial perhaps to the gold-plated Shirley Eaton from 1964’s ‘Goldfinger’…

Verdict: 7 / 10

Reviewed by: Raymond Choy

Review: Max Payne

The weekend was a very slow one, and I just had to take something on to rejuvenate myself. It was a Sunday afternoon, it was a hot afternoon, and the only place to cool off was the Mall (without getting any sunburn). And what is there to do at a Mall? Watch a movie of course. A quick glance at the cinema and ‘Max Payne’ was screaming for attention all over, hence ‘Max Payne’ it is. There’s been a massive exhilarative lull in movie-dom over the last few months (hence the lack of reviews) and ‘Max Payne’ was a perfect opportunity to change things. My expectations were not lofty, I just wanted something enjoyable, something fun even if its dumb, wanted a pop-corn movie. ‘Max Payne’ fits the bill perfectly…until the movie ended. Yes, you know what’s coming now don’t you? The film did not turn out the way I expected, and the final judgment on this latest action-flick was a Maximum Payne in the butt. Ouch.

I should have known what was coming. This film was adapted from an enormously popular game of the same name, debuted way back in 2001. The game was something fresh as it infused graphic novel storytelling and stylization with slow-mo-guns-blazing-bullets-flying-with-John-Woo-mimicry and had hints of ‘The Matrix’s finesse. I’m no gamer but when I played it, even I was impressed. Hence, a movie adaptation was inevitable. And hence, with all video-game adaptations, can I safely say now that a massive disappointment was inevitable too? Remember ‘Hitman’? Remember ‘Doom’? Remember ‘Street Fighter’? Sadly all these movies run on the same road to nowhere. And sadly these movies are still being offered to the public, inviting unsuspecting passengers with super-slick marketing from the movie-makers in return for a quick buck.

Should I even mention about the script? Even after striped bare of all matter that needs even an ounce of brain matter, the story feels payne-fully lurching and disconnected. The first hour goes nowhere very slowly, a tedious attempt by the director John Moore to introduce us the world where Max Payne dwells, to develop his character and to build our sympathy for him after his family was slaughtered. But it never pays off. With poor acting and directing, it actually made the Payne character more of a lazy sulking fella that deserves nothing more than a slap in the face as a wake-up call. We are introduced to the side characters, but again it’s a feeble attempt to inject some soul into the film and fails miserably as they all feel like empty carcasses primed for target-practice.

When the action finally kicks into gear, all the hard-work of character building goes out the window (so what’s the point of it then?) as characters we are supposed to care for turns to plain two-dimensional drawings and they just die during gunfights that erupts for no reason. Yes, there are a few scenes where the action was quite impressive, but there’s nothing we have not seen before that distincts itself from other bullet-ballets like ‘Wanted’ or ‘The Matrix’. Even the finale, which I had high-hopes for redemption, falls flat with illusions of grandeur. It was everything that is to be expected of such a film like this, and let’s just say we all know how it ends, don’t we?

In the end, it’s another movie that is made to please the fan-boys of the video-game and has absolutely nothing to win new fans over whatsoever. Watch it if you have nothing to look forward to, or watch it if you are a fan of the videogame. Besides these two reasons, do not watch it in anyway because you just know how this road leads too…

Verdict: 6 / 10

Reviewed by: Raymond Choy

Merdeka Break in KL, 29th August ~ 2nd Sept '08, Part 2

Monday, 1st September 2008

This is one day I wouldn’t forget in a quite a while. In fact, some friends and I had been planning to do this for quite sometime now and we finally dug up the courage to actually do it. This is the day I went for my first ‘Fish Spa Session’ hahahaah. In fact this is no big deal la, I wanted to do it for a looong time liao but didn’t get the right people to go with. I actually tried calling a few people to join in but some chickened out (especially SL. Hmmmpphh!!) and some had other things to do. In the end, only TK and I offered our precious legs to be devoured by hundreds of hunger-induced fishes of various sizes, ranging from tiny to goddamn big. The thing is, the task looks simple. Dig in your feet, relax, and enjoy the ambiance of a spa environment right? WRONG. My first experience was SUPER geli, so tingling and ticklish until me and TK just can’t stop laughing, I actually had stomach cramps from the laughing. I think it was only after 15 minutes or half way through the spa session that we finally got used to the ticklish sensation. Here are some photos (WARNING: contains graphic images of HAIRY LEGS. Be warned!!):

ARRGGHHHH!!!! Actually there's no pain, only ticklish, like big gigantic ants crawling all over your legsss!!!

Just imagine these fishes had teeth. Now THAT would be scaryyyy!!!

Just look at the size of that bugger!!!!

Just me and the fishes. Okla, i'm a camwhore. Bite me.

It’s an experience that I’ll really never forget. But here’s the down part. I was told by a friend that the fish we experienced was NOT the proper fish that is supposed to give us those healing and cleaning properties. In other words, those fishes you saw in my photos above are PIRATED fishes. Yes, pirated. Even fishes get copied. Okla, not cloned but the spa we went to provided us the wrong type of fish. The proper fish is supposed to be the ‘Garra Rufa’ fish that are tiny, blackish in color and non-aggressive. Other names they have are “nibble fish” or the “reddish log sucker” (important word here: sucker, not biter). They originated from Turkey where they primarily consume on the dead areas of the skin, thus allowing the opportunity for new, healthier skin to replace the dead ones.

The ones we experienced were probably cheap replacements. A quick check online and I found out that there are indeed a different version called the ‘Chin Chin fish’ originated from China. Now I’m not saying this China version is dangerous or does not do the job of cleaning your feet. The ones we experienced were probably of the China variety and I’ve noticed that they did NOT bite or were NOT aggressive. But here’s the problem with these China variety: these fishes are however were pretty big in size and therefore had pretty big mouths. Fish being fish, they could have bitten more than they could chew and once they bite through skin, our skin could bleed and bacteria from the dirty aquarium water could have entered our body and God knows what diseases we could have suffered. And if you think I’m exaggerating here, this situation was actually brought to my attention from a family friend working as a Doctor in an established hospital. So there you go, if you really want to do a fish spa, be careful of the type of fish they are offering, don’t mess with your life are a measly 30 minutes of fun and laughter (watch Jim Carrey movies instead!!).

So the fish spa that we went to is called ‘Foot Master’ located at 1st Floor Subang Parade (also in Sunway Pyramid). With the many fish spa mushrooming all over Malaysia, it's best that everyone be careful and choose the right type of fish just in case!!!

Anyway, the results after our spa session? No bleeding or anything of that sort. In fact, my legs felt a bit smoother. And I noticed my leg was less hairy…I guess the fishes will have some indigestion issues to attend to….

After the spa, it was dinner time and I had to treat my family with a nice dinner for all the ‘Mother’s Day’, ‘Father’s Day’, birthdays, etc etc etc that I’ve missed because I was in Labuan. SL joined in, and we suggested a nice restaurant in KL but it was getting late and I bet they didn’t like jams so we headed off to ‘Wendy’s Bistro’ in Sunway Mentari (highly recommended place for its ribs and stuff. Yummy!!) but unfortunately it was closed. So we ended up in ‘Eden Restaurant’ in Subang Parade instead (back to Parade haha). They had this ‘Executive Set’ promo and it looks pretty good so all of us whacked it. For RM34.90 per person it had loads of dishes to choose from, but here’s what I ordered for the set:

Soup/Appetizer: French Onion Soup. You can never go wrong with Onion Soup!!! Yum yumm!!

Main Course: ‘BLT Steak on Olio Pasta’. A slice of juicy steak topped onto ribbons of Olio Pasta that had hints of spiciness and cheese. A rather delicious combo actually!!

Dessert: ‘Bread & Butter Pudding with Vanilla Sauce’. Not my usual choice of dessert but I felt abit brave that day and chose this over the usual ‘Tiramisu’ and all that. Abit too sweet but interesting dessert nonetheless!!!

Coffee or Tea: Coffee, Tea…or me? Hahaha

Tuesday, 2nd September 2008.

It’s the day for my return to Labuan. But my flight was 6:00pm so there is still a small window of opportunity to enjoy further. So we headed off to Mid Valley early in the morning, at around 10am haha (I’m constantly ending up in either MV or Parade in this trip. I wonder why…?) SL really wanted to see ‘Wall*E’ so we did just that, and again I have to say that ‘Wall*E’ is the CUTEST thing in 3-D form ever (doggies are still the cutest thing EVER). We got the ‘early-bird’ promo at RM7 a ticket (nice) but the cinema was quite empty and it was SUPER cold (*ahem*)….

After the movie it was lunch time and SL always loved Vietnamese noodles so we headed off to ‘Little Vietnam’ and stuffed ourselves silly. We had noodles but for me, the highlight of any Vietnamese restaurant visits is not the food, but the COFFEE. I don’t know about you guys, but if you like coffee you just have to try out their style of coffee. Vietnamese coffee or ‘Ca phe sua da’ is brewed with a small metal drip filter (with Vietnamese coffee powder in it) and is placed on top of a cup containing condensed milk. Hot water is poured into the filter and just let it drip down to the cup and viola!!! Stir it and drink the best coffee that you will ever taste in your life. Okla, I’m exaggerating but it’s a very excellent substitute to the usual bore of ‘Starbucks’ and ‘Coffee Bean’.

And with that sip of coffee heaven, we headed back to my place and duly headed off for the airport for my plane ride back to Labuan. That’s it for the Merdeka break holiday which consisted of sushi, Baskin Robbins, Fireman BBQ, Merdeka fireworks, a very bad Vin Diesel movie, shopping, a TK beef burger overindulgence, yamcha, a fish spa session, Eden steaks and Vietnamese coffee. Satisfied? Definitely.

See you all again in KL on this 19th September people!!!!!!!