Review: "Transformers"

I can’t wait to talk about the ‘Transformers’ movie which I saw last Sunday, I’ll skip Saturday and go right to Sunday!!!

Sunday

Woke up early on 1st of July, rubbed my eyes and checked my phone calendar to confirm the day: yes, it is today, the 1st of July, the day I’ll witness the cinematic marvel that’s the ‘Transformers’ movie which I have been expecting with bated breath since the very first moment I laid my naked eyes on the first few clips of the movie which filtered through the internet many, many months ago (*deep intake of breath*). I rigorously calculated the time I needed to take my shower, change and pick up friends to ‘1U’ so that I do not miss a single moment, not even a single advertisement, for the sake that I can tell myself that I have gone through the cinematic event of the decade in a full and complete experience. The movie was at 12pm, my time still in bed is 9am. 3 hours to lunch, time is precious. I rushed through the chores of preparation and at 11:30am, the tickets which I bought online where already in my hands. I checked and re-checked and checked again, the details on the tickets stub were indeed accurate. Fate is at hand I thought, and destiny comes full circle as not since the days of the 80’s when I watched countless re-run of the cartoon on the VCR have I been so excited and ecstatic about anything. Almost 20 years later, those moments are back again. Thrilled and over-whelmed, I rushed in to give my ticket so that I can be allowed in earlier. From the rushing I left my friends outside and I jumped the queue which pissed off a few people. Screw morals and screw you, its time to leave all troubles and worries at the door and enter into a realm of robotic fantasy, served in full ‘Bayhem’ style and with a little dash of Spielberg magic. Needless to say, the awakening of the kid in me was nigh once more…

For the next 2 hours or more, I have to say it was the best movie I have ever experienced in my life. Why? From a general point of view, it was a fantastic summer blockbuster movie, not much more. But from a personal point of view, no movie has ever made me feel as delighted and thrilled as this. This movie achieved and exceeded all my expectations as a kid and as a grown-up, and ‘Transformers’ have effectively tattooed its presence in my consciousness and in my heart for many, many decades to come. Why this movie succeeded and other failed (Star Wars Episodes I, II and III for example) is that the ‘Transformers’ had successfully brought back the feelings of wonder and spectacle of those days of childhood and for that 2 hours or more inside the cinema that day, I was not seeing the world through the eyes of a grown-up, but as a kid of the 80’s. All life troubles and tribulations slipped away, and the worry-free days of childhood took its presence once more, days of being wide-eyed with wonder and innocent with stories of good vs. evil. No movie has successfully transformed me to those days before. ‘Star Wars Episode 1’ was a shameful attempt, ‘Superman Returns’ never even attempted and ‘Batman Begins’ was very close, but not yet there. ‘Transformers’ was not perfect, but it achieved what it needed to be done to bring back the feeling of wonder and awe, and it will be thoroughly remembered for what it did to me in this phase of my life as how the cartoon did for me in my days of childhood.

But that’s my adult in me talking. What about the inner child that was awoken from its sweet slumber for so many dormant years? Here’s what he has to say:

AWESOME. SWEET GLORIOUS JESUS, IT WAS FREAKIN’ AWESOME. It was way waaaaaaaay cooler than anything I’ve seen, not since ‘Jurassic Park’ has I gone ape-shit crazy over a movie as this. The movie was loud, the movie was filled with kick-ass special effects and every damn thing is moving at 200 mph, blink and you’ll miss a cool scene. So don’t freakin’ blink. And don’t even think of going to the toilet during this movie, ‘cause I think you only have 2 gaps of boring dialogue for you to run like hell to the washroom. And if you can’t run, piss in your pants ‘cause it’ll be worth it. Tanks, cars, planes, buildings, all crash and burn like useless cheap scraps of metal as giant freakin’ robots tear at each other and lay waste to massive destruction all around them. Never has anyone seen shit like this until you have seen shit like this. Period. Your jaw will drop, your tongue will roll (at Megan Fox) and your jaw will drop a few notches some more at robots and more robots wreck each other like there’s no tomorrow. After the movie I was so pumped up over this shit that whenever I hear someone say ‘Transformers’, I went giggling like a freakin’ school girl. Every food tasted better, everyone seemed friendlier and every memory of that movie seemed so much sweeter. And that’s the magic of the movies.

Well…that was fun. Anyway, as mentioned earlier, the movie’s great, but not perfect. Here’s a rundown of what I thought:

Good:

1.) Special Effects - One word - OMIGOD. The company appointed for the effects, ILM (Industrial Light & Magic) again proved themselves to be the masters of digital wizardry as the bar for special effect standards has been raised yet again. Only a few months ago that ILM astonished us with ‘Pirates 3’ and now ‘Transformers’ can be permanently regarded as the benchmark for future movies to refer to for digital excellence. I read that when at any time a full frontal Transformer transforms, almost 1,000 parts need to be animated per frame as there are so many moving parts. I just can’t imagine the time and effort it took to bring sequences of transforming to life. Pure craftsmanship. Comparing movies that have strong presence in special-effects, i.e. Star Wars, Pirates and Spider-Man, I believe that these movies did not manage to bring a sense of awe and did not transmit a ‘wow’ factor to the viewer. As these movies unfold, the special effects slowly become mundane and looked more and more just like some nicely rendered wallpapers. But for ‘Transformers’, every time you see an Autobot or Decepticon on screen, it never fails to amaze and astound you. IT IS THAT GOOD. From the very first scene of Blackout attacking the American base in Qatar, to Starscream’s airbourne battle sequence with a squadron F-22, to the all-out skirmish of robots in the city and everything else in between, every frame and every second is a beauty of masterful digital artwork. If only I can press a slow-motion button to admire things frame-by-frame in the cinema…if only. The scene that captured the essence of ‘Transformers’ was right at the beginning of the movie when Blackout attacked the American base in Qatar for re-con purposes. With Blackout giving hell on the base, one scene showed Blackout from afar, tall above the landscape, and it was unleashing hails of rockets with smoke trails leading to massive explosions all around it. Its torso was turning from left to right, its legs moving forward in search of death and its arms and body was bombarding everything around him with rockets and EMP pulses. This scene showed the viewer what the ‘Transformers’ really are: they are here on Earth and it is larger than any life on Earth. I believe this scene is important, especially when it was shown at the very beginning as it helped to set the tone of the movie and it gave preparation to the viewer of what is in store for the later parts of the movie. Witnessing this scene right before my very eyes, it set my imagination wild on fire, set my addreline pumping and all those goose-bumps running all over me.

2.) Autobots - Fortunately, they managed to bring back Optimus Prime close to the original. From the voice (same guy that did the cartoons, Mr. Peter Cullen) to the dialogue (“Autobots, roll out!!”) to the characterization (leader, brave, and bold), he is an Autobot trough and trough. Bumblebee a.k.a. Yellow Satan Camaro is my favorite, in fact everyone’s favorite, and provided the bridge that helped connect the viewer with the Autobots emotionally. He has a strong presence on screen and provided plenty of things for the viewer to be fond of and be emotionally attached with. From his painful capture by Sector 7, his excruciating injuries in combat and his humorous endeavors with the humans (“Bumblebee, stop lubricating on that human!!”) Bumblebee will be remembered and loved for all the best reasons. Although I was a little troubled with the rest, such as Ratchet, Jazz, Ironhide, etc which has little connection to the original (probably due to the little screen time they had), but once you see them as a group, the teamwork and get-togethers (i.e. outside Sam’s home), they are a joy to watch and they gel effortlessly. Overall, the Autobots rocked.

3.) Shia Lebouef - Shia was good, played the kid role very well, very convincing and very humorous. What a year for this guy, I mean, he is already cast in the next ‘Indy 4’ movie, starred in a major role in the superb movie called ‘Disturbia’ and had a major voicing role in ‘Surf’s Up’. I mean, can anything be better than the year he is having now? This guy’s going to be a major movie star, unless he screws his life up (like Britney and the clones). Hat’s off to you, Shia. Oh and by the way, he is the guy from the TV series called ‘Boy Meets World’. Now you know why he looked so familiar.

4.) Megan Fox - She played her part well as the chick Shia has the hots for. Megan Fox is, well, a fox and I can’t complain. All I can say is that she can change my engine oils any day. I think she doesn’t overdo the posing, unlike the other Michael Bay chicks, and do not over-do the acting, which is a breath of fresh air. Her on-screen time is just right and that made her bearable to watch and to a certain extent, care for. I only wonder if she can check my piston under my trunk, ‘cause I think it needs some lubricating… Meg-megan? Where you going….?

5.) Humor - Although some jokes are really unnecessary and lame, i.e. the Sector 7 officer, which I wish they did not put him in at all, the rest of the humor actually was funny and it worked well to lift the movie from becoming a tedious 2 hour non-stop-action feast. The gaps of humor in between action scenes were well done and it provided many opportunities for the viewer to gel with the Autobots and characters. For example, if Bumblebee did not ‘lubricate’ on the lame-o Sector 7 guy, I would not have liked Bumblebee that much. I know some of you guys hated that scene, I know that scene is wrong, but for me, I call it Robo-humor and I like it.

6.) Massive Destruction – When you put big robots in a city with big buildings, you will get big carnage. But when you put big robots in a city with Michael Bay directing, you don’t get just carnage, you will get major mayhem with a major dose of Bay-ism bedlam, which I call ‘BAYHEM’. Yes, no one does explosions as beautifully as Michael Bay and no one does action as grand as Bay himself. Especially in the last 30 minutes of the movie, you will experience action pieces that only lived in the fantasy world of imagination and being brought to life by Bay and Spielberg, it will take your every breath away…

The Bad

1.) The Decepticons – I was disappointed that they are not as prominent as the Autobots in the movie, as in they wasn’t given proper characterization and wasn’t given proper chances to build an emotional connection with the viewer. I mean, they are there just to be bad guys and are there for the Autobots to trash up, nothing more. Starscream could have been so much more, considering that in the cartoons he is a very major character in the ‘Transformers’ universe. At least he spoke, as in just one line, but for the rest of the Decepticons they were just given subtitles (“Devastator, rolling out”). The bane of all disappointments with the Decepticons is with no doubt Megatron. I mean, he is completely different from the cartoons, from the design to the voice. If Optimus Prime can have an original voice, then why can’t Megatron get a voice that at least resembles the original? And why in God’s sake is he an X-Wing from Star Wars? Fine, there may be problems being a gun like from the original cartoon, but why can’t he be a bad-ass canon, i.e. like those from warships and he can shoot down the Autobots from a far distance for example. Wouldn’t that be cooler than an X-Wing?? They should have at least given him some kind of resemblance to the original; at least have his arm mounted with a gun. But he has it only for a one scene in the movie I think, which is disappointing. I see Bumblebee’s arm with a gun more often than Megatron. Why Michael Bay, WHY?? You screw up Megatron dammit!!! Other than Megatron, Frenzy the data infiltrator, in my opinion is the Jar Jar Binks of the ‘Transformers’ and could have been done much better.

2.) Transforming Sound Effects – The sound of the robots transforming is a signature of the ‘Transformers’ and it is prominently missing from the movie. I hated that. NYUK NYUK NYUK NYUK NYUK!!! That’s the sound that made the cartoon so unique and memorable. But in the movie, all we usually hear is crunching metal against metal whenever the robots transform and it somehow gave a different feel, somehow made the conversion from cartoon to movie incomplete. We only hear it once in the movie and it was just a small and nearly inaudible hum against the more blaring metal-against-metal noise. I heard that particular sound had been licensed and the owner is charging unimaginable money for Michael Bay to use it, i.e. every time that sound is used in the movie, they need to pay one sum. So, if the movies used it 10 times, Michael Bay will need to pay 10 times of that sum. Crazy shit, huh. But anyway, If only that sound comes with every transformation, this movie would have been perfect…

3.) The Storyline – If you think for one minute that you bought tickets to ‘Transformers’ to enjoy the storyline, you are absolutely freakin’ mad. The story is paper thin, and it only serves as a guide for us to get from one action set piece to another. It is an excuse for Michael Bay to blow things up with bigger, badder and harder explosions than any explosions you have ever seen before. No complexities, no major plotlines, only good carnage whipped in Michael Bay style. Don’t be deluded, enter the cinema with your brain at the door, and enter the cinema with full amounts of geekiness and kiddiness and the ‘Transformers’ will overwhelm you in full disbelieving vigor.

As for me, I’ve already booked my tickets for Round 2 and already planning for Round 3. There will also be Round 4, should be a Round 5 and perhaps a Round 6. Also maybe a Round 7 and if that happens, possibly a Round 8 and wrap-up at Round 9 before I begin my assault on the DVD. But before the DVD viewings, a Round 10 will be good as a warm-up…Yes, if you haven’t guessed it by now, I love this movie.

Verdict: 10 / 10

After the Movie:

After the movie, we went to ‘HakkaKaya’ to enjoy some Kopitiam cuisine (if you can call that food cuisine that is). The stuff is pretty average, but the roti kaya seemed good to me, small in size though but tastes good, most probably due to the kaya. But anyway, we chit-chatted about the ‘Transformers’ movie and also on what to eat for dinner. Seems like everyone had no idea, so I suggested we go to Damansara Perdana to search for a ‘Friendster Café’ which I heard it exists in that area. ‘Friendster Café??? My friends screamed and they had their doubts of this place. I mean, what a lame-o name for a café. Then I replied, if we didn’t check it out, how would we really know? So, off we went to the ‘Friendster Café’!!!

Looking around the café, I found that the décor was alright, the service is ok but the food is surprisingly good. I mean, not fantastic but good for a café. The price however is a bit on the up side, so just be careful what you order!! They serve the usual western Pastas and steaks, but the Asian dishes caught my eye as the ‘Nasi Kerabu’ I had was unexpectedly delicious. Friends ordered the Pastas and Chicken Chops which were good as well.

So what does the place have in common with the Friendster website? Absolutely nothing. So, don’t expect anything in relations to the Friendster website except for the possibility of the place being a strategic meeting joint for Friendster friends and connections. Anyway, it’s a fun place to hang out and has a good vibe to it so I guess I have to recommend it to anyone that likes a café atmosphere with a unique twist to their regular cups of java.

We went back around 9pm, reached home and I crashed into la-la land with robotic wet dreams that accompanied me ‘til the next morning….

Me and an uncle with a full stomach wakaka....

Not Wanted

Weekend of 23rd & 24th June

Saturday


Fixed an appointment today with a car mechanic to patch up my damaged door in the SS19 area. I know that place is expensive with a lot of sharks waiting for water fishes, but I have no choice because it is so convenient as I live nearby. Actually an old friend offered to fix to the door at around RM80 for knocking and spraying (just the damaged area only), but his garage is in Puchong, and I got no one to help drive another car to Puchong and fetch me back, because the car need to overnight. So, I got no choice but to send it to SS19, which cost me RM120. Expensive lehh. Luckily TK was free to fetch me back, but before that we went to SS15 a good round of dim sum. Yummy and cheap!!

With the car in the workshop, that only means one thing: no life. Yup, that Saturday I bummed around the house, going online, chit chatting on MSN and trying to look for water fishes with car to fetch me around. But, no luck. I quit MSN and went to my PS2 instead, playing Pro Evo 6 until late evening (trashed Liverpool 5-1 using Everton on difficult mode, yeah baby. Andrew Johnson scored 4 goals and Phil Neville headed in one goal. He’s not completely useless after all).

Staying at home, it was such a hot day that I sometimes felt I couldn’t breathe. How does my mum survive everyday at home, doing the cooking, washing, and ironing? Sometimes you just have to spend some time in mum’s shoes to really understand what they are going through as a mum, because everyday the dad is always away for work and the children are away hanging out in shopping malls, they don’t really feel the situation mums are in. So, this is to you mum for your everyday hard work: **MUAKSS**!!!

Anyway, yes, it was a hot day that day that even in an air-con room, I was almost bare-naked. Thank God for boxer-shorts I thought. And with this situation that something quite embarrassing happened. Outside my room door, some aunty or uncle came to my house to visit my mum, and she shouted for me to say ‘hi’. But I was too lazy to put a t-shirt and proper shorts on and leave my air-con room, so I pretended to be asleep haha. But mum shouted for me to say ‘hi’ and started to knock wildly on my door. Omigod, my clothes are in the other room, and my mum is going berserk with the door. If I don’t open the door soon, she will become something like the ‘She-Hulk’ crashing my door down screaming ‘Mama Smash!!’ With no choice, I opened the door and reveal my full body glory. In front of me I was shocked to find a gang of aunties and uncles sitting down and staring at me, not talking, just staring. I said a quiet ‘hi’ and tried to get some clothes but an aunty pulled me to the living room and screamed: “WAHH your boy so big already!!” I don’t know what or which part exactly she meant by ‘big’ but I just laughed and pretended it was a funny joke. Straight away other aunties was asking me questions of where I was working but I said I need to get a T-shirt, but the an uncle screamed “AIYAHH, guy nothing one lahh!!” Hhhmmm, gay uncle? Ugghh. Again, I pretend to just laugh. And with that laugh I got no escape already as other uncles and aunties started to continuously ask me questions, and I answered them in my boxer shorts. I quickly sat down to avoid being a showcase of weirdness and tried hard not to open my legs too wide, in case something pops out and give the aunties and uncles a heart attack (except for the gay uncle, he will probably join in with the popping). I don’t know whether they know boxer shorts are some kind of underwear and not normal shorts. I think if they knew, they would have let me get some clothes already haha. You see, I’m not embarrassed with being shirtless or whatever in front of people. What I was afraid of is my boxer shorts, or rather, what is behind the boxer shorts. Because, the shorts are kinda loose, and if my ‘DiDI’ is behaving badly…’PAI SEH’!!! Luckily nothing ‘major’ happened and they left after 1 hour.

My collection of boxers. Sexy biatches yeah.

After they left, I felt like going for a swim, but no one was interested or already has plans. I thought about playing some B-ball with the usual gang, but I forgot: it is Saturday and the usual gang is away with their girlfriends or family. Crap, back to square one again. Evening turned into night, and it was dinner time. Ok, I got dinner to worry about now. Called a few people, but again, they are away with someone or something. Again, I was left to contemplate the night alone. Sigh. I asked Dad to ‘tapau’ something for me, and ate at home on a Saturday night.

You see, for me a car is essential. If I lost my hand-phone, it is still ok because I got a spare and I keep most friends numbers in a notebook (yup, I know it’s weird for a guy to do that, but I do. Keep laughing). If I lost my PC to a virus, it is still ok because my blood veins do not go line-in-line with an online PC. If I lost my walk-man it is still ok, because my hand-phone still has the songs that I always listen too. But a car. Now, when my car goes missing, it is the end of my life as I know it. My life goes into an abrupt halt and I’ll be spending the days and nights with Mr. Lonely. I cannot go pick people up for yamca or meet someone somewhere. Friends often do not come to fetch me because most of them they live quite far. And friends that live nearby, unfortunately this day all of them are busy or away. So, I’m left with nothing, nobody, not even call to ask me how’s the car and whether I need a lift. Maybe it’s my car, or maybe it’s my friends that don’t really care for me. They are only friends when I can fetch them to somewhere, and if not, they will find someone else. Are my friends like that….? Sometimes I feel like they are, like when I really need something, they are not there. They will just carry on with their lives and do not want to be bothered with other people’s difficulties. Are you all like that….?

I spent the Saturday night at home watching DVDs (“Finding Neverland” with Johnny Depp. Good movie, good acting and great directing from Marc Forster). Went to sleep at 2am.


Sunday

Woke up early to get my car back, and finally it’s fixed. With the car I went all the way to KL to see SL. We already planned to meet up together earlier yesterday and I was hoping for a good day today since yesterday was so boring. I heard that ‘Bakerzine’ had opened a new outlet in KLCC, with 20% off total bill opening promotion for June, so my excitement was rolling. While at KLCC I was then planning to buy early tickets to ‘Transformers’ to get good seats. It was a ‘happy proof’ plan, so what can go wrong? Actually, everything went wrong. Upon arriving at SL’s place, SL was in a terrible mood and made a fuss about everything. SL were supposed to meet up a few friends later that day, and just earlier SL got a call that they are meeting up earlier at one of the friend’s house. But then I arrived, and earlier I told SL that I planned to go KLCC. So there’s a clash of timing. So I suggested we go to the friend’s house and forget about KLCC. You said no and we stick to the KLCC plan. I said are you sure? You said yes. Then I said never mind, KLCC will always be there, lets go to the friend’s house instead. Then you got pissed and everything went sour from there. You were not talking and were giving me the irritated look, annoyed that I was there, and quickly gave me the impression that I was in the way and spoiling all of your plans. All the way to KLCC, you were not interested at all about everything, even when we were at KLCC, you were walking away from me and was rushing to get out of KLCC. Ok fine, if that’s the case, let’s get out of KLCC and do whatever you wanted to do. But no, you were in a ‘whatever’ mode and I was pissed at that. In return I rushed through ‘Bakerzine’, did not enjoy it at all and did not buy the cinema tickets. I rushed back to your place and dropped you off. What the hell, I came all the way from Subang to KL to see you and I get this in return? I offered you to go anywhere you choose, but you didn’t bother. It seems that KLCC was not the problem, and it felt that I was problem. I was making you miss the chance to meet your friends, correct? I was the uninvited guest and I should not have come that day. Fine, I told SL that I get the hint CLEARLY. SL said that’s not the problem, but all that has happened made me feel that way, so I left in a hurry and did not join SL with the friends.

I got hurt because of you that day and it hurts madly to be treated as an annoyance to your life. If you want time with your friends, please tell me earlier and not until I drove all the way to your place and then tell me in front of my face. It hurts even deeper. Or is that what you really wanted? I’m not a toy to fill your empty weekends without your friends. Whatever reason you gave me that day about your behavior, I accepted it with running tears and a hurtful heart .You mentioned you are sorry, well I’m sorry for bothering you with your great friends. I just would like you to know that I’m still hurt and not fully forgiven you. Do I feel sad? Do I feel sorrow? No, in fact I felt grateful, grateful for letting me know what my place in your heart is and my place in your life is, and for that I thank you….now I know.

A "Fantastic" Weekend...?

Weekend of 16th & 17th June

Saturday


The movie frenzy of summer sequels continue as ‘Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer’ hits Malaysian cinemas this weekend. I was skeptical on whether to fork out RM10 bucks on this movie, since the first Fantastic Four film was so lame, watching any movies with Ice Cube into seemed cool. I mean, the first movies was so bad I cannot possibly believe it. The acting was lame, the special effects were cheap and the story was, well, what story? The only good bit was the ‘Human Torch’, but why do I want to pay good money to watch a good-looking guy having fun? Makes me feel bad… *sob* But anyway, my friends insisted, so what the heck, I joined in…

I went into the 1U cinema without any expectations and left my brain completely at home because in my opinion, to enjoy this movie, that is exactly what is required. I mean, the moment you use any brain cells, it is the time the movie will completely suck. It is that shallow. So, the cinema hall darkened, the pop-corn are a-munchin’ and the Fantastic Four burst onto the screen for next 1 hours 20 minutes or so, with me expecting the worst of any superhero lameness possible. But I was pleasantly surprised. I was surprised that this is a ‘Fantastic Four’ movie, directed by the same director with the same cast of actors, and I was watching a movie so much better from the last one. It was a vast improvement, but to be honest, the first movie was so bad any improvement would have been a great one.

First off, it was a great marketing move to include the Silver Surfer in it, because you are not essentially watching a Fantastic Four movie, you are watching a Silver Surfer movie supported by the Fantastic Four. So the movie makers successfully sidetracked the horrid ill-feelings from the first movie and re-booted the series with the help of the Silver Surfer and a bigger budget (hence the grander and longer fight sequences). And it worked. The director was spot-on with Silver Surfer and nailed him to the wall of coolness. There isn’t any molten-silver guy as cool as him since the T-1000 in ‘Terminator 2’. Seeing him fight with the Human Torch through skyscrapers and tunnels of New York really brought me back to the days when I was a kid, wide-eyed with wonder on cartoons of Transformers, GI Joe and the Silver Hawks (remember that one?).

Keep in mind that it is not ‘Batman Begins’ or the ‘X-Men’ as ‘Fantastic Four’ is not that serious, not so dark and frankly, not that smart. This series is meant to be fun, light-hearted and clean. Otherwise we wouldn’t get the ‘Fantastic’ in the name of ‘Fantastic Four’, would we? It would be ‘Fearsome Foursome’ or ‘The Darkness of the Four’ or whatever. You see, in essence this series is not meant to be dark and is not grown-up tales with grown-up troubles. Imagine what would ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ be if not for the silliness of Captain Jack Sparrow? What puts the ‘Fantastic’ in ‘Fantastic Four’ is its honest attempt to capture the childhood essence of fantasy, and it represents everything that is simple and full of imagination encapsulated in a time before adulthood. Just think of the names: Dr. Doom, The Thing, Invisible Woman, you name it, it is from the past of a childhood when Ultraman was enjoyable, Transformers was cool and Godzilla was God. This movie brought those times to my time in 2007.

Even though the story is paper-thin, there are many moments that are refreshing compared to the many other movies out there at the moment. The power-swapping scene is honestly a clever gag, not the mention the full-on London effects scene which was a nice amazement. Their new vehicle has a cool twist to it as it can split into many parts (compared to other vehicles which simply jumps at anything and shoots at everything), and of course the Silver Surfer himself is simply, well, cool.

Well, in the end, was it worth my RM10 bucks? Yes, just enough. Did I like it? Well, just enough. Will I see it again? Probably not. Can’t wait for Part 3? Definitely NO. But how about a whole movie just on the Silver Surfer? I’ll be waiting in-line at the cinema…

Sunday

Saturday was a nice surprise with the movie. On this Sunday however, it was not so fantastic. On my way to KL for a karaoke session with some friends at Neway, Times Square, I had a car accident. Yup, lucky me. Although it was not serious, this was supposed to be a fun day with friends screaming my lungs out at the karaoke machine. But it was not to be. The worst part is, the accident happened right outside my house. Yup. You see, while I was getting out of my car to close the house gate, out of nowhere this Indian guy on a motorbike slammed right at my car door. It wasn’t a side collision but the bike hit the edge of the door while being open, which luckily means not so much damage, but it caused my door to be out of alignment. Because of that, my door cannot close properly, which in turn, caused my car lock to not secure properly. But the damage still needed me to send it to the mechanic for knocking, which means I’m poorer by roughly a hundred bucks. Thank you Mr. Indian Guy.

All that caused a lot of anger inside of me. Why is that Indian motorbike guy suddenly there? I checked my side mirror before I opened by door, no guy there, but why is he THERE??? And worse of all, I got scolded by him and he ran off without paying anything or apologizing. SHIT ON YOU, BIATCH!!!! Why it has to happen to me? Why? And why is it always motorbikes? My last car accident was also a motorbike which slammed at my side and caused my windscreen to break (don’t ask me how). And a long time ago, another speeding motorbike cut my right side mirror away, just like that. Why? Is my car so valuable to motorbikes until you have cut a piece of my car away? Or you all just hate me? Is there a conspiracy of motorbikers out there that plans periodic & calculated attacks on my car to hurt me? Who are you people? What did I do to you all….? *SOB*, I’m innocent dammit!!! INNOCENT!!!

For the past few days I was suffering from ‘motorbika scaredika’ syndrome, a.k.a. scared of motorbikes. If I see a motorbike that is not behaving like a proper motorbike should be, I’ll slow down and switch lanes. I’ll let the bike have all the road glory to himself. And when I can’t switch lane, I’ll let rip my car horn like I’m announcing World War 3 is on the way. If I have the money, I’ll install 2 big speakers on my car roof to amp the noise too. Or rocket-launchers, whichever is in the market. I heard napalm is coming cheap nowadays….If I have more money, I’ll buy a big old 4x4 and squash all those tiny bikeys like disgusting insects, and install big bad punching fists at both sides of my car, and when a bad bikey comes nearby, I’ll simply push a button on my steering wheel and BAM!!! They will float like butterflies and good God, it sure will sting like bees. BBwwahAhahAHhahaah!!!

Throughout the karaoke session I was feeling very sad and very bad. So I sang very sad songs like Elvis Presley’s ‘Are You Lonesome Tonight’ (I will be when I got no more money to go out when I fixed the car). I also sang the Beatles’ ‘Yesterday’ (because it was only yesterday that my car is ok, but now….*sigh*). Then there was Tori Amos’ ‘Silent All These Years’. See, this song is about someone being raped, and at the moment I feel raped by that Indian guy because I got banged, got scolded and he left me for dead. Chilling…Other songs I sang (or screamed) included Celine Dion’s ‘(The Indian Guy Left Me) All By Myself’, Michael Learns To Rock’s ’25 Minutes’ (because if only I left my house 25 minutes earlier/later, none of this would have happened) and Crowded House’s ‘Don’t Dream Its Over’ (because, let’s face it, there will be more accidents in the future as long as you drive a car. So sad!!!! Please God, only super small teeny weeny accidents only God!!! After I sand all the songs already, I went into the toilet and cried (*sob*sob*).

After crying, I thought my problems were over, but it wasn’t. During singing, I dropped by handset on the floor and the casing split into two pieces. Sigh. And my new handset is dented a bit, which is so heartbreaking. SIGH….

Left the karaoke place feeling that my bad luck is over, we decided to have dinner in KL, but feeling lazy, went to ‘Station Kopitiam’ inside of Times Square for convenience sake. I ordered a dinner set, Thai sizzling chicken. Yummy!! But when the dish came, I saw a stinking rubber band in the middle of my rice. YUCKKK!!! My luck became from bad to worse. Luckily my friend saw it, otherwise I’ll become Mr. Fantastic and start to wobble all over. The waiter agreed to change the rice, but I have my doubts whether it was really changed or they just took out the rubber band….SIGGHHHHHH…..

I quickly decided to go back home and sleep the bad day away. But before that, I bought a Banofee cake from Starbucks just for my dad, because it was Father’s Day. You must be wondering why I’m not having dinner with him, that’s because I already spent him dinner. Anyway, Happy Father’s Day dad!!!!!

Changing Seasons...

Weekend of 9th & 10th June

Saturday


It’s mah birthday!! Its mah birthday!! Mah birthdayyy, mah birthdaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!

Yes, in case you haven’t noticed so far, it’s my birthday, the 9th of June. So what plans are afoot for this lucky birthday boy that has a birthday this year which nicely fell on a Saturday? Clubbing, drinking, womanizing, bonging, anything and everything. WRONG. Maybe I’m getting old or getting bored with things or simply suffering from pangs of arthritis. Some of my friends asked me to join them for the ‘UV Nation’ party @ 1U, on their tab, plus free shots to boot. If this was offered to me 5 years ago, I would have said ‘yes’ faster than Bart Simpson can pull his pants down. But, now is now, and well, the time for me to give them a reply took longer than my grandfather can say ‘Viagra’. In the end, the reply was “maybe next time lah, thanks anyway guys.”

Call me an old hack or a freak of nature. This is me already, maybe it is evolution or simply aging, but I’ve changed somehow. Seasons change whether you like it anot, like from summer to autumn, it is an act of nature, an act of God. And when you leave a season, you leave the honestly of that season and have to confront the next. You cannot bring along the ideals from the past season, but only face the ideals of the next. Like how summer loves the flowers and winter harbors the snow, clubbing was the summer and serenity is my winter. But seasons are a cycle and can come full circle, and maybe, just maybe, I can welcome my summers once again? HhhMmMmmMm, interesting thought….

So, I did not prefer the club lights, but how it would be great to have the sky lights where friends can gather and chit-chat under it until the nights go old. I suggested ‘Sky Bar’ or ‘Luna Bar’, but it was not to be as some friends that I contacted were not free, mainly my fault for informing them of my plans so belatedly. However, whatever the conditions, whatever the outcome, there is always a certain rose that seems to be by my side always. Even though in the beginning of that day family circumstances compelled us apart, but eventually this rose found its way to my arms and I knew right away that this particular rose I could not, and would not, let go. For my special day my rose promised me new settings, and assured me of great likings. I imagined my rose to chariot me to a destination far, far away…but it was a place not that far at all, but in fact, it was at Shrooms, KL….

We went upstairs and immediately a few slabs of giant and super heavy menus greeted us. The menu was lush with ample selections to consider and temptation trickled all over me from head to toe. What to order, what to choose? I really wanted the Norwegian Salmon accompanied by a side of escargots and lobster, but I think I was demanding too much. Since I am not paying, I thought to myself: “Lets see what the rose is ordering and I will follow along those lines.” Moments later, the waiter jotted down the first order of the day: ‘Bento Set’. “Ahh??!!” I screamed inside myself, we are at Shrooms and we are eating Japanese canteen food?! My face was alight with shock but a re-assuring hand clasped upon my hand and told me that the real reason why we are here is not the main course, but for the delectable desserts on offer. And to top it off, my dessert order was already arranged before I even knew it. Wah, a surprise!!

As for the drinks, it was not the usual orange juice or ice lemon tea. I was feeling abit naughty and ordered the peach margarita and it was a wickedly mischievous concoction of tequila with hints of peach and mixed brilliantly with dashes of lime, topped with the usual sprinklings of salts at the brim of the margaritian glass.

The food was embraced in full pleasing vigor and the drinks accompanied it with no complaints. We chit-chatted throughout the night and sipped into the modern elegance of the environment, adding to the already pleasurable food that has gratified our taste buds. But why stop here? It was time for greater delights and it was time for dessert. Initially we ordered the ‘Bomb Alaska’ but it was not to be as the chef was unable to fulfill our request. With ‘Bomb Alaska’, the dessert is to be set alight, i.e. on fire, and the blue flames will sensuously lick the entire dessert. It would have been a fantastic piece to end the night, but alas. No matter, we then substituted it with ‘Pannacotta’ and although it was not as spectacular as the bomb, the taste was sensual and fulfilling none the less. Presented in an artful fashion, we sipped the dessert blissfully into our lips and into our hearts. We conversed merrily and before we knew it, the night was at its close and thus we departed with good memories, excellent culinary contentment and a good night to commemorate a special day that is my birthday.


Sunday

Woke up kinda late, went to a nearby Kopitiam for brunch and started my search for my birthday present. Yup, SL promised me a present and I am not going to let this opportunity slip from my fingers haha. Again, how my times have changed. Last time, my birthday presents I used to receive perfumes, branded Ts, underwear and even condoms. But now, the change of seasons can be drastically illustrated by my latest present for my latest birthday: a computer chair. Yup, a chair people. With a special design for back support too. I don’t know whether people are telling me that I’m getting old or I’ve got too many perfumes already, but this is really something different. I’m not complaining of the present of course…but for a birthday present? True, the main reason for giving me a computer chair is because my existing chair already has one leg broken, two wheels that cannot roll anymore (so when I slide around the room, these broken wheels scratches the floor like nails on a blackboard) and it is also stained beyond cleaning (don’t ask me how the stains come from). But seriously, can these reasons be why they gave me a computer chair for my birthday? My birthday you know!!! Sigh, I was expecting something more posh, like a Gucci keychain or whatever...

But anyway, if it’s a computer chair then it has to be bought from a place more terror and not from ‘Syarikat Ah Beng’ or something. If it’s furniture, where else to look but Ikea? So me and SL went to Damansara and duly bought my chair of choice…

Coming back from my shopping spree, my parents decided to belanja me dinner to celebrate. God bless them!! We decided to skip the usual steaks that we usually eat on special days, so we headed off to SS24 and stalked for something more local in taste: crabs!!! Yup, if you are in the SS24 area and its crabs, you will know where I’m talking about: ‘Fatty Crab.’ The usual signature stuff was ordered: crab in sweet and sour sauce, fried rice, fried chicken wings and roti bakar that goes so well with the crab sauce!!

But let me tell you, me and crab eating is like a scene right out from “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. I just don’t know how to hammer the crabs properly, somehow when I whack the crabs, the sauce and juice will just fly all over the place. It’s a total bloodbath I tell you. And no matter how many times I whack it, the shell just would not crack properly. Either it will crack just a little bit or at the wrong place where there is no meat. So I whack at it some more to get the meat, but when I do that, all hell brakes loose and broken shells fly all over the place. People sitting beside will be screaming for cover and people from other tables will be laughing. It’s that bad. As for myself, I can get so much sauce on my shirt that CSI teams can do a full analysis on it. Furthermore, that day I was wearing my GAP T-shirt because I went to dinner straight after shopping in Ikea. My T-shirt was a total disaster zone. Bits of small shells were on the G and P of the GAP logo and multiple spots of sauce was everywhere. I called it ‘multiple-crab-shot-wounds’. Tissue was no help either, I mean how many tissue are you going to stick onto your shirt? I’ll look like a chinese looking ‘The Mummy’. I felt like taking the whole shirt off to save what’s left of the T-shirt, but it’s a public place. Oh Crap (or in this case, ‘Oh Crab’). Usually this is what I do when I eat crabs at home haha, just go shirtless, eat and take a shower later wakaka. Eventually they told me to put tissue over the crab, whack it and remove the tissue. This way, no unidentified flying shells can be seen. Wow, it works!! So I hammer and hammer until I can hammer no more. In the end, the table was a like a war zone full of seriously dead crabs and crab body parts littering all over the place. Satisfied with the food and the damage I made, we left and went back home to digest. Yummy.

After coming back home, i got a great surprise as a few friends came over to my home and wished me 'happy birthday'. They bought me desserts too, which was fantastic!! One of the desserts was pure strawberry heaven and second one was just sweet sensation. Check out the pics!! Thanks guys!! I ate the dessert and later I took them out to yamca and chit chat until the late night...

So it was a birthday with no clubbing or drinking, but it was still a splendid birthday none the less, pleasantly made from delicious food and enjoyable company. So with that closes one birthday and another will coming in a year’s time. Oh god, what will happen then, and what new presents next? More furniture probably, maybe a reading chair that can rock back and forth. Oh god….

Shrieking with Disappointment with Shrek

Weekend of 1st & 2nd June

Saturday


Since the release of so many blockbuster movies in cinemas recently, my life had been dominated by it. Seriously, every single weekend it’s been movies, movies and more movies. From Cineleisure, KLCC, 1 Utama, Mid Valley, you name it (please name only in Klang Valley area haha) I’ve been there to watch these movies. It’s like a cinema marathon, and I LOVE it!!! I love movies, I love the visuals, the sound, the comfort of a good cinema hall, everything to anything about movies. I’m such a movie freak, I watch movies that I love for 10 times at least. For example, last time there was this movie called ‘Gladiator’ with Russell Crowe in it and I saw it 4 times in the cinema, 12 times on DVD and 3 times on HBO. And that was when I was having exams. If only I was totally free…Even friends have complained that I care about my movies more than them. One time, my friend was having a birthday party at 'Ruums', KL. But at the same time, I got tickets to ‘Pirates of the Caribbean 2’ showing on the first weekend it opened in cinemas, and not only that: I got cinema seats right in the middle of hall in full THX and comfort glory. I had to make a decision fast, and the decision was easy: "Ahoy maties, plunder me pirates n’ load me wif the best rum I say!!!", My birthday friend did not speak to me for a month….Sigh…

But anyway, this weekend, it was ‘Shrek 3’ at Cineleisuire and what was my opinion about it….?

Well, in full honestly, 'Shrek' is seriously suffering from old age and a few bouts of arthritis. The first ‘Shrek’ movie in 2001 worked so brilliantly because it was fresh with its unexpected jokes aimed at fairytales and pop culture. With its charming story aimed at the kids and the witty jokes accessible to the adults, it was a delicious mix for everyone. Following the first movie was its sequel, ‘Shrek 2’ which although showed signs of rust, it was still a bang of a good time for the audience (remember Puss in Boots? What a character) and a good profitable streak for Shrek.

So can the third installment follow the solid one-two podium finish of its predecessors? The answer is a simple ‘no’. Although ‘Shrek 3’ remains amusing and provides the previous movies continuity, this 3rd installment gravely lacks the energy and novelty of the prequels. It’s very sad for me to say this but ‘Shrek’ joins a long list of sufferers of ‘Trilogious Fatiguesm’, i.e. exhaution from too many sequels, with noted victims in the past to include ‘The Matrix’, ‘Spider-Man’, ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ and to some extent, ‘Star Wars’.

So what exactly is wrong this ‘Shrek 3’? In my opinion, this installment played a bit too safe with the story. Just like those American Idols wanna-be singers that do not want to screw up their chances of getting votes by singing those mushy love songs to play it safe (which I want to add, the show is rigged (i.e. BRIBED!!) to such a point that it is a joke) . This movie has lacked the edgy wittiness and at times, the cleverness of the jokes from the previous installments, such as the numerous Disney potshots that 'Shrek 1 & 2' loves to throw at them, changing to materials that plays exactly like a Disney movie. Hello people of Dreamworks that made Shrek so popular, you are against Disney, not with Disney, that’s how you guys were so cool in first two movies, remember? That’s how you won me over with a CGI movie and not something like ‘Cars’ or that cartoon that has penguins suffering from identity and vocal disorders endured from too much boredom in the North Pole. What, they are cute? Lilo & Stitch are cute, these penguins are just poor imitations of entertainment. Singing with perfectly choreographed dancing? It’s a CGI movie, they can do anything with the computer, I mean they can even make the snowflakes look like Michael Jackson and do the ‘Thriller’ with penguins dressed as zombies. It’s CGI, there’s nothing to admire about choreography. You want choreography, go to your nearest stage musical (i.e. ‘The Kind & I’) and admire that, not here.

Another flaw is much to do with its superb line-up of talent voicing the characters. The list goes on: Mike Myers, John Cleese, Antonio Banderas, etc. So much talent on offer, and yet so little to show for it? What, did these guys think this up on a bored Sunday afternoon: “Oops, I feel like I want to be in a Shrek movie today, just for today and not any other day…Mr. Agent, please arrange something with Dreamworks, chop chop!!” A few days later, Dreamworks dreams of some cute furry animal for this superstar and BANG!!! Money in the bank. I mean, this is Dreamworks, the movie studio that Steven Spielberg helped establish and yet, bitter materials get churned out from his fruits of labor?

‘Shrek 3’ has become a movie that is meant to be exactly the opposite. Too sweet, too predictable, too Disney. I mean, somewhere in this movie, there are lessons to be learned, morals to be upheld and acts to be admired. Even the climax is let-down by a preachy speech about something I forgot (or my mind chose to forget) than a thrilling, fun and off-the-chuff ending which ‘Shrek 2’ did so well. With these flaws, the moviemakers has robbed, no, to be more precise, practically raped away the irascible charm and spunky wit that made Shrek characters so enduring and entertaining in the first place.

Out of all the summer movies that came out these few months, ‘Shrek 3’ is pitifully disappointing and will do just about to satisfy the little children with unlimited demand for whatever that is Shrek, nothing more. I should have just waited for it on a pirated DVD….

What? I’m a movie freak, I’ll watch movies even if it’s bad. I just like to know how bad the movie get…

Oh, and before we entered the cinema, we went to 'Midori' and sinfuly tucked in a strawberry sundae, which for RM10 is not bad. It's good for sharing, and good for chatting away the extra moments while waiting for the movie to start...

After Shrek 3...

Coming out of the cinema feeling robbed and molested, we decided we need to reclaim some of our dignity back, or else my nights will never be the same again. Bored with the usual entertainment at 'The Curve', we decided to leave the scene of the crime and headed off as far, far away as possible…into KL. Hungry and deprived of something good, we chose to indulge ourselves in something a little more unique: Korean BBQ!!! Yes, enough with the sashimis, burgers and steaks, we want raw goodness, and that was what we got in the Korean BBQ. We stopped at a restaurant called 'Jung Won’ which is snuggled up in between the embassies and bungalows of Jalan Ampang. Once inside, it was not the usual restaurant as it had an open concept whereby tables were placed in huts and were nicely spaced out. So this offered us an ample amount of ventilation and fresh air. No walls, no chairs and no problems with ambience as a romantic fish pond equipped with a water wheel nestled in the middle of the restaurant, offering a splendid view and idealistic charm.

We have no idea what to order so we asked the waiter to suggest some dishes. He suggested the beef as it was their signature dish, the chicken marinated in spicy honey and eel in black sauce. We skipped the eel. Within seconds the tables were prepared with delicious aplomb and I must say the service is excellent, the waiter took precise care to cook our beef and it turned out wonderfully.

However, my optimism is not extend to the tid-bits offered (the tid-bits are customary offerings when you eat Korean food, and these tid-bits comes in not one plate, but at least TWENTY!!!) These tid-bits are, in my opinion, BAD. Maybe I’m not used to Korean food, but the Kim Chi tasted as sour as my 6 months old milk. From every bite, my face was a crumpled canvas of agony, with hints of difficulty trying very hard to hold the tears that are fighting to rupture from my eyes. But other than that, the food flowed well into me, with a few drips of tears flowing down my cheek as well from the kimchi.

We chit-chatted, laughed, and had unique fun. From that, we adjourned into the night….

Sunday

Woke up very late in the day, forgot an appointment with some friends at Taipan, USJ for lunch and duly got sounded. Sigh. They forced me to belanja them TGI Fridays because of this. Without saying another word, I quickly closed my phone and went back to sleep...

Woke up again, is it night already? Shocked, I quickly got up. Pulling back the curtains, I looked out the window and found the skies are almost pitch black with dark clouds threatening to unleash wet hell onto the helpless residents of Earth. Crap, and I’m feeling hungry and no one’s at home to get food! I checked my phone, and 6 messages:

1.) “You have to belanja us TGI Fridays…” quickly change to next message.
2.) “You STILL have to belanja us…” next please.
3.) “Wei, tonight’s yamca cancelled, Jay FFK…” crap, now seriously got no food.
4.) “Wanna go dinner later?” surprised, I checked at the name, checked I do not owe this person anything, and replied ‘Yes’…

We went to 1 Utama to scour for food and ended up in Nando’s. Ordered something that is not the usual ‘¼ chicken set with 2 side dishes’, I ‘mini-miny-moed’ the menu and came out with something called Paracorta or Terracotta or Do-u-really-wanna or something like that. I said yes and BANG!!! The waiter come over with chicken cutlets on skewers as tall as a 10 year old boy. At first sight it was scary, like a scene right out of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” due to the meat pinched with big bad skewers. But at the bottom plate nestled nice wedges and a fine salad, so I guess it can’t be that bad. Tuck in if you dare, I told myself. I obliged and it was a nice surprise. 2 hours later, we adjourned for the day.

Min's & Oh's Farewell...

Weekday of 24th May

Thursday

OoOoOoooOoops, looks like I forgot to post this day in my blog. It was Min’s & Oh’s farewell dinner from Mediaplex Sdn. Bhd at Cititel. Almost the majority of the Mediaplex gang was there, so it was a good night for a farewell. Me and SC were late to the dinner as usual, and we nearly did not go because partly I heard the food there was sucky, and partly because Khoo was not there so scared the night may get bored. Furthermore, we both have late company meetings so we were so close to go straight home!!! Sommore i was so tired...i felt like sleeping but in the end, it was a fun night. Unfortunately i didn't take many photos, Mr. Khoo took a lot of photos in his digi cam, so where are the photos Mr. Khoo???

Ball(s) of a Time with Futsal

Weekday of 28th May

Monday

This day is special. Why? It is because this is the day that I came out of retirement. Retired from what you ask? Well, not from pension but from futsal!!! Yes, people, I finally found the courage to wear back my old futsal shoes and….wait a minute. I can’t find my futsal shoes anymore. My mum threw them any ‘cause it stinks like a drainage tank. My mum always said that if the shoe even slightly touches the aquarium water, all the fishes will immediately vomit white foam and turn up-side down. And, some will even run on land to get away. So smelly meh? Haihz. But anyway, since got no futsal shoes, I just used my walking shoe to play instead. Hope I don’t slip and break anything….

Upon arrival at the futsal court, I was introduced to other members by my friend that called me to join him for futsal today. All of them I did not know, but never mind, can get to meet new friends. I changed into my shoes (so shy la, other people got proper shoes, I got only walking shoes. I feel like a ballet dancer in a football field). Everyone warmed up, everyone got into position, and the kick-off commenced…..

Because I haven’t played futsal or any other sports for so long (almost 2 years already), my strategy for tonight was simple. Go back home with all bones in a correct position. Very simple, I just need to run around and if a ball comes my way, I just kick it away like a bomb going to explode. Yup, that was the plan. I just hope my team mates don’t kick me back for playing like that. Never mind, no broken bones enough already…

So, kick-off. My team-mates started to pass the ball around, everyone was running everywhere. Ok ok, so I started running too. My team-mates went for the attack, running at the left flank, teasing a defender. He needed someone to pass to, so I ran into the middle, right in front of goal. He saw me, he passed the ball to me, the ball rolling to me, yes, my moment of glory, World Cup here I come, I side-kicked the ball towards goal…and….SCORES!!!! Yes, that’s right, in my ballet shoes and with my first touch, I scored the first goal for the night. Hi-five, hi-five, back from retirement with my first goal.

So, an excellent start and I continued to run around passing and shooting at goal. But after awhile, we got a problem. Because there were so many people wanting to play, and everyone wearing different shirts, everyone got confused as to which person is in which team. So many times I passed to the wrong person as I though he was my team mate. But no, he just laughed at me and ran away with the ball. Shit. So, a lot of people complain and we decided that one team will NOT wear shirts so that team members can be seen easily, since it is so hot anyway. And shockingly, it was decided that my team will NOT wear shirts. OMIGOD. I’m not a sports person, and I don’t have a six pack. I got 1 pack only, 1 BIG pack that is called my belly. And i’m so thin compared to those sporty people. A shirtless thin boy in ballet shoes, I’m starting to feel like a schoolgirl. But luckily, 4 other team members were fatty bum-bums so I still got chance not to totally embarrass myself.

So we re-started the game and I started to run around, trying very hard to be macho and tried to play futsal at the same time. Things were going ok, I made a few good passes and nearly scored another goal. Good, keep it up I told myself. Then suddenly the ball came my way…Omigod!! Ok, ok, I was clear to goal, no defender in front of me and I started to unleash a shot towards goal…and suddenly, out of nowhere a big bad guy blocked me from my right side. The problem is, he didn’t only take the ball away from me, he took ME with him!!! We fell to the ground, he was ok and got up immediately, but I was on the ground thinking about my strategy: don’t break any bones. Ok ok, friends helped me up and I looked at myself for any white sticks sticking out from my body called bones. No, everything intact, I looked down and even saw my two nips still on the left and the right, in the same place since I was born. I did not become a freak. *Phewww*

We played for another 30 minutes and it was time to leave, and thank God because I was getting cramps from the left leg spreading very fast to the right leg. I pretended to be macho and slowly walked away from the court. After changing I left feeling quite satisfied, considering after 2 year I didn’t play any futsal, I scored a goal and played ok overall. Although a lot need to be improved (for example, my whole body need to be improved. Sigh), it was a satisfying return from futsal retirement. Now I just need to force my legs enough to drive me back home before my cramps start to spread …*Ouchhh*

A Long Time Ago, On a Sea, Far, Far Away....

Weekend of 26th & 27th May

Saturday

This weekend I witnessed in full THX glory one of the grandest movie to come onto the cinema screen this year: “Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World’s End”. Many droplets of sweat in anticipation of whether cinema tickets are available were emanated; and countless clicks on my pitiful mouse trying desperately to book online tickets finally endowed me the chance to witness this finale to one of my favorite trilogies to hit my senses in my short lifetime. So what is my End judgment of this Pirate World from the Caribbean? Is it Dead and tinted in Black, or a Treasure Chest filled with Pearls of wonder?

Running at nearly 3 hours, my first impression of the film was: “Huh?” Never have I witnessed a film with a running time of 3 hours gave so much confusion and perplexity as this film. Usually movies with long running lengths wrap up the plots and characters nicely with appropriate conclusions. But this movie was a jumbled up mess of over-ambition and a cacophony of plots trying too hard to impress: an opera it is not, a family movie it is thought. But how wrong my thought was. This was my first impression, and after going back home scouring through my pirated “Pirates 2: Dead Man’s Chest” DVD (yes it was a pirated copy, so hang me already) and going though a second session of “Pirates 3: At World’s End” (yes, guilty as charged, I saw it a second time at the Cineplex), my impression has changed dramatically…

After going through Pirates 1, 2 & 3, I started to realize how my first impressions were deadly inaccurate. Putting together the movies in order, a sense of awe and marvel started to tingle throughout my mind as how the screenwriters of this series, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio, have painted a dizzyingly large canvas of distinctive characters and a fascinatingly dense world of mythology, a world in which people double-cross everyone around them as frequently as most of us draw breath. It’s also a world where the supernatural is almost commonplace, where bizarre creatures sail the seas alongside soldiers and pirates and no one blinks an eye about it. It’s a world I can honestly feel unique, and that’s a rare thing these days.

The first scene of Pirates 3 sets the mood perfectly throughout the movie: row after row of pirates hanged and disrespected by the East Indian Company. A boy, not over 10 years old, took his turn, and at this point you would think that this being a Disney film, a pirate hero would jump out from nowhere to help this helpless boy with just a flick of a blunted sword. Alas, the boy is duly hanged. Witnessing scenes like this, you will start to wonder just where this movie will take you: into realms outside of your comfort zone and into worlds of darkness where pirates are eradicated like plagues of death. This eradication is causing their world to end, and their fight for survival is at hand throughout the high seven seas…

The story unfolds in dramatic fashion throughout the movie, and at the end, the movie is a colossal spectacle of special effects, action, humor and closure for all the major characters. What I really want to make note after watching this movie are:

1.) Special Effects – the company appointed for this is ILM (Industrial Light & Magic) and they have elevated special effects achievements to another level once more. The character of Davy Jones remains as the most convincing CGI character in existence at the moment; every movement, every tentacle, every breath and every spoken word is alive and full of personality. The scene where Davy Jones sheds a tear during one of his broken-hearted recitals on his organ piece is one great example. The scene perfectly illustrates his emotions through CGI as he solemnly wipes away from his forlorn face a tear drop which lonesomely droops from his tenticle touch, is a pinnacle of special effects magnificence. Many more spectacular scenes litter the sea of the cinema screen: a scrap boat sailing through an ice cave, a limbo that looks like a desert done by David Lynch and filled with multiple Jack Sparrows, a pirate cove made entirely of shipwrecks, the visuals are often really striking. They have created a mystical world so vivid, imaginative and in such rich detail, it has brought true believability to the world of the pirates.

2.) The Director, Gore Verbinski – What I admire about Verbinski is that even though this movie is overloaded with characters with varied backgrounds, Verbinski never failed to give each character proper screen time, and each screen time is not wasted as every character had their impact moments. This implies not only to the characters but to every other area of the movie. In action sequences, the viewer will hardly tend to be confused on what is unfolding on screen, as each frame is masterfully planned and edited to give the maximum possible impact. Verbinski’s camera lens is never dull, always filled with electricity and eccentricity, and at times, visuals of a haunting nature. Same of the battle sequences are truly handcrafted masterworks of action art, such as the battle between two ships in a whirlpool, washed together with so much digital wizardry it makes the viewer in complete wonderment and astonishment.

3.) The Humor – What was seriously lacking and missing in this third installment was the humor and cheeky wit that was the signature of the previous two movies. There was no all-out laughter; it was only the occasional slight smile throughout the movie which I mustered, quite honestly, with some effort involved. The jokes seemed forced, and some jokes were even re-cycled from other movies. What made the first movie an instant classic and the second movie a good companion to the original are now devoid here in this third installment.

There are so many things I want to mention about this movie, but if I do, the blog will go ballistic and become a novel. From the frozen toe scene, the crazy Pirate Lords, Keith Richards as Jack’s father and to Chow Yuen Fatt’s near rape scene of Kiera Knightley (and this is a Disney movie. See what happens when people see big bucks? All morals go out the bloody window), there are so many facets yet to be explore and admired.

Looking back in a few years time, in my most honest opinion, only the first Pirates movie however will be remembered with any affection. Debates will rage about the two sequels, some preferring one over the other, but everyone pretty much agreeing that despite their moments of entertainment - neither is a shade on the original. Debates will further rage about which trilogy is better: Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, Star Wars & Spider-Man, all will be remembered for their moments of true originality and their flaws of re-productivity to tap the flowing tide of profit from these movies. But at the end, it was definitely a trilogy worth remembering for most of the right reasons.